He Defines Me

He Defines Me

235;

Around the number of men I let lie,

Cry, shout-out, look down at me;

while f*****g me, relentlessly. 

Though admiringly, still, beautiful.

It was, when, I didn't think,

Sink I did, instead of swim,

In my own sorta deliverance. 

 And with that, very few men;

have actually touched me.

Anyone should know;

it only comes to show.

 How-

indescribable your life can become,

Both...
Numb, and delicious. 

Lucas;

They say that apart of you,

Blessed me, inherently, useless.

It was a joke, you then provoke, 

Cuz when I opened my eyes, I felt clueless;

blueness, to what just happened.

In me, like I was choking;

cloaking, what pieces I had left of myself.

...I picked em’ up that very day.

Rex;

With your redneck complex,

how you left me feeling warm.

Deep in the cracks, evenly demanding;

each hair follicle.

How diabolical it felt,

when your fingers crossed my skin.

Within, how simple we were, when we were.

Brown your eyes, in thought, so starry,
and I'm sorry, so f****n' sorry.

That you didn’t even know I was touching another;

further, so much earlier, that day.

Brandon;

Abandon, you had left it’s ship,

a blip, not even sailed yet.

You are the hottest guy,

that I, forever will lie;

that I didn’t pray for.

Though even offshore, I’d have to admit.

That even though I, love-sick,

knew, you were just a confession;

a question, a trick.

A prayer, regrettably,

though I, incredibly, consciously, were in love with.

Dominic;

Two years with a f****n’ politic,

You know, what only hurts..? 

Forever-everything, when I think about it.

You, and your confused,  ideas of; “love,”

grew tired, grew sick of.

And I, just was something, irritating,

a kid, you just couldn’t wait to get rid of.

Yeah, I was a dick, right..?

when you thought-slick? Maybe?

A joke, vampiric, and I shoulda seen it comin‘.

It’s only one year later, does my image still mean nothin’?

Anyways, in love with somethin’…

An 8-3-1, I-can’t quite pin. 

Howlett;

Last, before I least forget,

Boy, did you have me giving,

Dealing my money like your opinions,

Having me believing, conceiving,

That when I got home, you’d be there.

Forever, always…

…well, before the pills popped in,

There you had it, slopped down, cranked;

tanked, you were, when we lost you.

And I’m sorry that I couldn’t assistant you;

persist, with you hurting yourself.

Anymore.

And I know; that f**k, I was half the cause,

But hell, that’s all it was?

Ya coulda spoke somethin,

Did somethin, threw somethin,

To get my attention.

Didn’t mention.

Did I mention.

That I loved you?

Sorriest; to what is 

Half the blame;

To what defines his

Beds of shame.

He Defines Me

Written By; Joshua Randall

Session IV: Eventually 

Reviews

[Mandy]

im gonna need lots of tissues....truely heartfelt and beautiful.

[Kaotic Barbie]

You for sure described all with so much emotion...that I can not only feel but picture all of them in my head. Your such a great poet! My idol.