December 24th

the first time I got drunk, which started a binge for me that lead me to a destructive road...

I tore off my jacket, 

now standing there with my ex and my best friend,

in merely my heels, a skirt and a tank top. 

It is December 24th 2014

the day in which I am usually with my family

watching Christmas movies, eating popcorn

sleeping under the tree with my siblings.

where am I this year? 

drinking for the first time. 

I start out slow.

just one green apple mixer.

then 2 and then 3

I am feeling tipsy...

words come out easier, 

then after 3 and 4

I am sick of the green apple taste in my mouth.

I need something to cut it.

I bum a cigarette off of my best friend...

that doesn't help much except make me dizzy.

Fine, I grab the bottle of 100 proof rum, pull off the top 

and chug for a few seconds.

Its warm, hard and goes instantly to my head.

Now I really don't care.

I made stupid mistakes...

flashed my breasts and my best friend, 

tried to kiss him. 

asked my boyfriend to do things to me that I didn't really want done. 

then I passed out on the floor.

this cold, wet, smokey garage, covered in dirt and dog hair.

after coming to again, I felt my drunkenness leaving me

I begged for another drink, 

they wouldn't give it to me.

so I grabbed a bottle of beer

(I HATE beer)

I took off the top, and slammed it down.

then I passed out again.

Christmas morning I woke up on the couch.

around 5AM

feeling sore, but nothing else

I did things I am not proud of.

so on the day that I am normally opening presents,

lounging in Christmas pajamas,

watching the kids open presents...

Here I am, watching some a*****e sleep

the same a*****e who let things happen while I was drunk and he was sober

things he knew I didn't want. 

Author's Note

please ignore grammar errors.

Reviews

[Markoo]

Dismal. You broke it up well, expressed the events and feelings accurate and acutely. I liked reading it, picked it because I personally hate Christmas and what it does to people. Even though this wasn't from that angle, it had that bleak feeling I associate with that whole time of year.

[Rosegal95]

thank you. Christmas is hard on allot of people I know that for sure...its rough to get past some bad memories, however I find the best way to do that, is to start making you own, good ones.