MAMA, PLEASE DON'T CRY

I was written this poem when my mother sick and lay on the bad at Antonius Hospital Pontianak.

Mama, it’s hurt you know.
I don’t see your smile in this moment,
I can’t feel your happiness like before and
The times seemed to stop now.
You lay on the bed, crying without sound, very quiet.
And i swear, I hate to know that you are sick.

Mama, please don’t cry anymore.
In this moment, let me wiped your tears,
Remember when i child, i’m tumble and my leg injury, i crying loud.
You tote me and says “Don’t cry my son, i will sanitize your lesion” and you smile.

Mama, please don’t cry.
That’s horror to me.
Give me your smile that i know if you’re alright.
Let me see your cheek expand and i know if you’re oke.

Mama, please don’t cry.
I’ll telling to God to give you health and long life.
I’v been pray to your happiness and best life,
because i love you, mama.

Reviews

[MomzillaNC]

Aside from the disruptive grammatical errors, this poem is terrifically moving. It's everything I imagine my husband felt as a boy watching his own mother's decline and death from cancer. I hope you'll correct those grammatical errors and smooth out the bumps that jar the reader from the emotional state the start of this poem creates. I'd love to see you carry that all the way through. That first stanza moved me to misty-eyed revery.

[Marselus Ocen]

Thanks for your review. I know my englishs not good yet. I love writing so much and i always try to do my best also my grammatical. Thanks so much.

[MomzillaNC]

You're welcome. I recommend you read great English writers. Especially writers like Jane Austen, Peter Mayle, Georgette Heyer, P.G. Wodehouse, Lillian Jackson Braun, Edgar Allen Poe, Emily Dickinson, Lord Byron, etc. Peter Mayle and Georgette Heyer and P.G. Wodehouse might be especially beneficial to increasing your understanding of grammar in writing.

"Writers write always. Great writers read, then write."

[Marselus Ocen]

I will always remember what do you says. Actually i haven't any recommend english writers. :( its bad.

[MomzillaNC]

Well, now you have several. Above, I tried to name writers who are known for their excellent use of language mechanics (grammar, spelling, punctuation) in their works.

[Marselus Ocen]

:) thank you for your help. I will going to bookstore tomorrow morning. Nice to know you, Mom.

[MomzillaNC]

You're welcome. You might be able to get some of them as eBooks on Amazon.com. They even offer a Kindle reader plug-in for your digital device.

[Marselus Ocen]

Wow, that is great. so i can get it free, its it?

[MomzillaNC]

It seems to be when I looked at it when I published my book of poetry.

[MomzillaNC]

It makes any device into a reader -- even a smartphone.

[Marselus Ocen]

i interest to read your poem. I'm writing poetry too in Bahasa. some time i sent my poem to local magazine .

[MomzillaNC]

Well, you can find many of my poems here on WC.

Keep writing and keep learning.