Avians Of Quests

To watch a hoyl wilt with weight of self-majesty blacks my royal eyes. I must not lift 

To fall feathered against your brackled sternum, else you shall fall fowl to 

The elusive Persephone of tyrianed rivers. Instead, I shall become a watcher 

Of the ancient minority, placed against amethyst foliage and proud even in 

Inherent denouncement. 

Moonstones are patient against iridescent plummage. We may look in the same 

Direction, but our purposes marry not. Still you remain against minutes and days. 

Patient as your myth for the azure pyre which calls your end. At littlest, you await

The ember which announces your beginning. But then no longer shall you be

My high hoyl. 

I pass under amaranth skies to gnarled violet topiary above your crest. Cosmic white 

Though I am, beauty lies within contrast. It is this that presses Persian rocks to 

Stare at the old, and the quiet. Still yet I am starred against nobility, and your half

Mooned eyes fail to notice. Flail my untouched wings and cry out to phthalo oceans.

Blacken me.

Author's Note

Jewish mythology includes the story of the hoyl—a bird that, like the phoenix, is devoured by divine fire only to rise from its own ashes. Legend says that after Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden, Adam offered the fruit to all of the animals. The hoyl bird was the only one that refused to eat the fruit that God had said must never be eaten. As a reward, the hoyl received a kind of immortality. It never dies but only goes to sleep, after which fire destroys it. An egg remains, however, and from that egg a full-grown hoyl hatches anew.

Reviews

[w2de35657u687y4324rf]

Ah, thank you for the author's note. I was a bit lost on the 'hoyl' thing. I researched it and it only returned reference to musicians and such (people with that name).
Well, with the definition renewed under the given definition I would definitely venture far enough to say that this is an exquisite work.
A tale of decline, lovely, lovely.
100/100

[Jeremy Baker]

A very clever and intriguing piece of writing here - the word play ad rhyme structures were crafted so well they almost slip past unnoticed, such is the level of skill employed. This one is going to the favourites list straight away!

[Inyourshadow]

Beautifully penned and what wonderful use of imagery and emotion especially the final stanza in it's ending two lines. Well done on using an origional topic and thanks for the introduction to the Hoyl Bird. Keep em' coming

[Caradoc]

Very interesting poem. I have heard of the Phoenix but not of the Hoyl and am most intrigued by the tale. As I am currently working on several projects at once, one of which is a Dark Fantasy version of the real world, I shall have to research this myth. The Phoenix is one of the creatures I intended to include, but perhaps the Hoyl would be better suited the mythological history of my world.

As for the poem itself I love the way you wave your words together. It is a beautiful vision of the not quite passing of an ancient, wondrous creature. "Azure fire which calls your end", is one of my favorite lines. I like blue fire. Another favorite is "I pass under amaranth skies". That section of the sentence is interesting, especially due to backdrop of the poem. Using amaranth as an adjective to describe the sky was a nice touch, as the Amaranth is the undying flower.

Good luck in the contest you entered this in. I hope the moderator enjoys this is much as I, and many others, have.

Keep it up.

[Ace D Portgas]

Wow, not only did I like the poem, I liked the note as well...I'm a big fan of mythology and you just took me to school on some stuff I didn't know about lol

As for the poem, it was amazing, I love the wordplay you used in it and overall it was an enjoyable read for me

[Michael of Gilead]

Excellent, though i did not know the myth before.

[PrincessZeldaWannabe]

Really soft and strong and pretty!

[sugar]

i feel so educated right now...learned alot.... lmaoo thanks for sharing

[Muse]

I've never heard of this myth before. Beautiful...it took me to another time, and another place.

[Branch Isole]

Rebirth, the reward of enlightenment is themed well in this piece of literary fiction, well beyond the norm for this reader.