Avians Of Quests

To watch a hoyl wilt with weight of self-majesty blacks my royal eyes. I must not lift 

To fall feathered against your brackled sternum, else you shall fall fowl to 

The elusive Persephone of tyrianed rivers. Instead, I shall become a watcher 

Of the ancient minority, placed against amethyst foliage and proud even in 

Inherent denouncement. 

Moonstones are patient against iridescent plummage. We may look in the same 

Direction, but our purposes marry not. Still you remain against minutes and days. 

Patient as your myth for the azure pyre which calls your end. At littlest, you await

The ember which announces your beginning. But then no longer shall you be

My high hoyl. 

I pass under amaranth skies to gnarled violet topiary above your crest. Cosmic white 

Though I am, beauty lies within contrast. It is this that presses Persian rocks to 

Stare at the old, and the quiet. Still yet I am starred against nobility, and your half

Mooned eyes fail to notice. Flail my untouched wings and cry out to phthalo oceans.

Blacken me.

Author's Note

Jewish mythology includes the story of the hoyl—a bird that, like the phoenix, is devoured by divine fire only to rise from its own ashes. Legend says that after Adam and Eve ate the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden, Adam offered the fruit to all of the animals. The hoyl bird was the only one that refused to eat the fruit that God had said must never be eaten. As a reward, the hoyl received a kind of immortality. It never dies but only goes to sleep, after which fire destroys it. An egg remains, however, and from that egg a full-grown hoyl hatches anew.

Reviews

[w2de35657u687y4324rf]

Ah, thank you for the author's note. I was a bit lost on the 'hoyl' thing. I researched it and it only returned reference to musicians and such (people with that name).
Well, with the definition renewed under the given definition I would definitely venture far enough to say that this is an exquisite work.
A tale of decline, lovely, lovely.
100/100

[Brittany weddle]

Very well written

[Seshat Nidaba]

I quite like your poetic voice, I'm pretty sure anything you write would appeal to me on some 'gut' level due to this.

My favorite lines was probably:

Still you remain against minutes and days

[Maryum Mazhar]

Different, I have to say, very, very different.

Your vocabulary and way of words is very unique and strong, but also kind of hard to understand.

Awesome overall :)

[realmwriter]

This is truly a beautifull piece, I can see why it took first place in the contest of skilled poets. Very well thought out and very discriptive, plus the old language fits it perfectly of course! This will go into my favs...!

[Dahlia Phoenix]

Graceful poem and it amuses me that you know your mythology, adding an entire story in one poem.

The hoyl is a representation of resistance against temptation. That only those strong enough to ignore it are rewarded with the greatest gift of all: life. :)

Amazing job!

[CT]

Not bad at all, and your knowledge of the subject definitely enhances it. It just feels a bit... I don't know... Artificial. A bit too forced, if you will. It seems many of the words are only there to make the poem seem more sophisticated. Honestly, I feel like it could have been a better poem without many of the more exotic examples. Not bad, just a bit to contrived for my tastes. Keep it up.

[Ripple of Aqua]

So graceful and with a great background to match!

[dukovan]

This is expressing so much, so elegantly. Each line attaching itself to the next, almost without effort, but I'm sure there was a lot of that and care for this piece. What a great concept, attached to a more grounded story, that I've never heard before. So much good stuff!

[Everson Taveras]

Eloquent to a fault and raw. You have my appraise, without a doubt

[joshua deathdealer]

This is an amazing poem and I like the Iegend..well done. Excellent word play as well.