Godspeed, Carry On

Not poetically my best work, but it's very personal.

Shimmering meat.

It would juice my mouth. 

You would present it

And I would be content. 

Are you?

Puff of powder perfume

A part of goodbye.

Never too much, enough 

To smell like you.

Do you smell the same?

Then, like a firecracker

You had protected me

From brutal blows. 

They no longer exist.

Please, keep this spark. 

Help me wash my hair.

Tell me to brush my teeth

Again, be ready for

Whenever I arrive.

Will you see me arrive there?

I planned to visit.

Tracking all bus routes

To your bed. Notions of

Buying flowers, talking. 

Where was I?

You were supposed to 

Get better. Time was no 

Issue to a young person. 

All too short. 

Are you better now?

Flowered letters spell 

The most important word.

‘Granny’

Laden with regal blue. 

You liked simple, didn’t you?

A designer box, my best one

Now keeps your things.

After exploring your treasures

I keep them safe. 

Do you like that?

Your withered hand 

I never saw, but this was

How you wanted it. 

I will remember you now.

So, godspeed, and carry on as you were. 

Reviews

[Caradoc]

A beautifully sad poem.

The words flow smoothly like a waltz across the surface of a river I once read. Images enter my mind of a face I would long glare at and yet crave to see now. Your words bring back memories of a time long ago and yet like only yesterday, when my father would bellow for me to do something, his voice carrying through the house. And still, I hear him no more.

It was canes he liked. Now, of all the things that remind me of him, it is his canes I shall keep.

Good luck in the contest, although I don't hold out much respect for those who cannot be bothered to use proper spelling and grammar in the descriptions of their contests. Who are they to judge our works if theirs do not follow a similar standard?

Adieu.

[Coyote Poetry]

Strong statements and amazing words made this poem a pleasure to read.
"Flowered letters spell
The most important word.
‘Granny’
Laden with regal blue. "
Some words hold great meaning to us. "Granny" is one of them. Thank you for a excellent poem.
Coyote

[Steph K]

Expressive, beautiful technique. Personal feelings revealed through the simplest of things. "Laden with regal blue" Exquisite.

[LoneWolf]

this read feels like an old film reel, your flickering images capture the essence of your loved one so well.

"Puff of powder perfume
A part of goodbye"

This line rolls off the tongue and the imagery lingers like the fragrance. The entire work makes me wonder how I'll be remembered.

[Inyourshadow]

This became clear as I read, the childlike nature of the beginning leading to the beautiful rememberences of time spent at her side, I loved the heart felt honesty of your poem, the greatest treasure you received from her I would say are your memories. Loved the poem, keep em' coming

[N. N. Grainger]

I love the content and theme, it is so quaint a deep. I cannot fault you on sentiment; my only comment would be that perhaps splitting this into more than one verse would help keep it fresh as you read, I needed a bit of a pause when reading as it was quite long and it would be a shame draw away from the poignancy of the subject because the reader tires :) Grandmothers are so damn special.

[~Anita Sandlin~]

this is wonderful...you do very well at expressing deep feelings.

[Taylor Williams]

i love*

[Taylor Williams]

u kive the feel of this poem especially the resolution and acceptance of the last line "So, godspeed, and carry on as you were". great work!

[nonno noo]

this is so refreshing, and so well written. the short lines are really effective, and you really do a great job of revealing true feeling. And sidenote: I'm studying Literature too!