Ember

I’m burned. 

You were my Ember.

Flickering, hush.

Waiting to roar

My fire. 

You forgot to wait.

I should be hot.

Searing you.

Leaving my mark.

You were first.

I’m just humid now.

You stick with sweat.

So, extinguish.

Turn to ash and be

Nothing, Ember. 

Reviews

[E.V. Black]

"I’m burned.
You were my Ember."

I believe that this had to be the most effective line throughout the poem. Being burned by a another has to be the worst thing in the universe. More so if one was really close to them.

[poetry-kiddo alienbaba]

:)
a poem that can be visualized easily from one aspect...
speaks directly to some readers...whilst "hushes" discreetly to others.
good work here.

[Chris]

I likely came across wrong... my apologies. No excuse, was just a not so good day.

rhythm and flow were fine. content was understandable. allusions were viable
it didn't seem to have the bite and fire it could have.

Chris

[Joshua]

Extremely good poem.

[ClaireBear]

deep, meaningful, beautiful, extraordinary! I love it!

[Steph K]

Beautiful. Great use of symbolism and train of thought. The one sentence stanzas add for a striking emphasis. Amazing effect! And your ending, 'Nothing, Ember' . Simply electrifying.

[RAWR!]

very nice

[VelvetRosetta]

Nice way to progrees, advance as picking up the pieces of the burnt flames...
Nicelt done!

[Clockwork]

I really liked the lines, "You were my Ember. / Flickering, hush." I think it implies life, passion, and the possibility of ignition with the proper fuel.

I like the progression in the first stanza to the third stanza. It seems like the heat and intensity lessons which seems to mirror the journey of the speaker.

The only thing about that progression is the word choice with "humid" in the third stanza. I got the image of smoldering when I got to that part and was a bit surprised to read the word humid.

Other than that I enjoyed the piece and I really liked the ending lines, "Turn to and and be/ nothing, Ember."

[Brittany Lavy]

I really like the flow of this piece, I love how you related yourself to a fire, burning and flickering. Very nice piece. I really do love the depth of it.