No Cherry Blossoms Here

Enigma.

Trees conceal your shadows, your life,

Your whispered breath. Like you, there for 

An instant, gone forever. 

Body fleeing, but your soul staining

My cherry blossom.

Flutter, caress the wind, 

But not my face. Float through the world

With no reason, thought, rhyme,

But settle before the last chime. 

Starlight. Help me find his face,

Reveal what he won't. Throw light

On the unlightable. Don't let me talk 

To the shadows anymore. 

Catch his breath like a bird, can't 

Fly away. My petal lips take his breath now.

Grace little of his mouth, then he's whisked,

Back into the dark, with you, with me, 

Nestled in the night, 

And no cherry blossoms in sight. 

Reviews

[nonno noo]

You've done exceptionally with this piece, and by no means am i surprised. you have this innate ability to paint such concise images of deep subjects. and in addition to your gift for detailed language and deep internal expression, you present your thoughts in a visually pleasing aesthetic. keep it up, you're great.

[Novel Reader]

Breathtaking!

[tynamite]

Wow this is poetic. I don't read stuff like this everyday.

[Victoria PoetryBunny]

Very nice write, i love the different lines, how you worded this... enjoyed reading this, i like it a lot.

[BrynnaW.]

You've done brilliantly with this. It is definitely one of my favorites. Very well done. Great job! Keep on writing!

[PrincessZeldaWannabe]

Really cool, pretty, and just wonderful!

[Branch Isole]

This piece figuratively floats along on itself. As Robert Frost waxed so eloquently;
"Like a piece of ice on a hot stove, the poem must ride on its own melting."
Well done.

[Chris]

Review: (NOT Comment)

Each stanza IS a standalone OR the poem is too short.
It lacks the transistion from one to the next.

The obvious weakness is:

"Catch his breath like a bird, can't
Fly away." - can't fly away without some limiter
just doesn't work. The idea APPEARS within but
it really should also be stated within the framework
of YOUR thoughts not just mine.

***********************************************

Comment: (NOT Review)

Such a prayer you whisper...
Touched and yet untouched
wanting more
and still unsure and unknown.

Chris

[BiroPen]

wow.....

[amdc101]

You have great imagery, vocabulary, and talent. Great poem.

[Everson Taveras]

You have captured the imagination and beauty of love here. Good work.