His Stare

Poem I am doing for a contest.

What is wrong with me
That is the question I ask
When people that I see

Most of their stares are nothing but blank
In their suit and ties
Silk dresses
Clearly no where near them
Do I rank

The Man that bothers me
Is the one that is hard to see

His eyes are sharp
I try to duck when he pass
He sees right through me
As if I were glass

Showing me that I am worthless with every glance
I hide in shame
Wishing to leave this place
As strong as a weak child is my stance

I crush my pills to be able to face him
Every day I take more and more
I pray one night my sight will forever
Grow to dim

As I bring my nose to the mirror
Even though he is not here right now
I am still his inferior

My family walks
Blood running from my head
Mother cries as father tells her
Her worthless son is dead

The preacher tells those who mourn
That is was Satan’s work it was plain to see
He forced me to think
The one person I could not stand to have stare
Is me.  

Author's Note

Thoughts?

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Poem went many directions. I like the questions in the beginning. The disappointment in the middle was strong. And the sadness at the end left me with questions. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[Emily Quinn]

i really like this poem; the edge of mystery in the begining that makes us wonder. the ending defintely holds the most impact and hits the hardest. Although it could use a small edit (no where should be nowhere, "The that bothers me." your just missing a word here i beleive) but you really did a great job making us the readers feel for your character and surprised us with the tragic ending. great job, really an amazing peice

[LostInThought ♥]

This was really good!! It flowed great and I always like it when poems kind of tell a story... its refreshing from the ones that make you decipher the whole thing! :) Good write!

[Raven Wilson]

Omg I loved this! The journey it takes you on really brings you in. the ending really fit and brought it all together, I sort of get the poem in the way that it is horrible to go and be a person, but when you get back...you can look in a mirror and want to scream and rip yourself apart because You can see everything that no one else knows.

[Rachael]

This is actually quite sad. At the beginning I wasn't really sure what you were trying to get at, but by the end it all got tied up

[SilentDreamer]

Very nice. Flows well. Fits the contest pretty good too! :D Cute, I like it. Great work.