My penis, by The Hulk

Self analysis by the Hulk

 

Why must I become so terrible and green?

White hot anger rolling through me til my pants split at the seam.

My genitals, somehow, stay almost daintily draped,

   while the rest of my clothes get brutally raped.

I stomp about town green with envy,

   while covered he stays, my little green weenie.

Could it be I’m so mad because the rest of me grows to such proportions,

   while leaving my little soldier withered and clothin.

If just he could explode like my delts, pecs, or abs,

   but no he just hangs there tiny and sad.

I roar and I bellow "Hulk smash!"

    when all I ever wanted was a vagina in which to crash.

I'll say with conviction "I might not hit bottom, but I'll sure bang up the sides!"

    when in reality I’m crying inside this Hulk hide.

You would think me all bulgy, like a moose for true,

    but it's not and I feel the anger building anew.

Testes the size of coconuts I have, but no palm tree to match,

   and whats the point of coconuts if they can't pleasure thy snatch.

I sit on them constantly always with a roar

    folks think “he's just grumpy” but it's so much more.

I'm insecure I'll say it Thor kiss my a*s,

    and get that faggy hair cut, you look like a wee lass.

I know that I’m whining but I can still kick all your asses,

    try to leave, I’ll rip your tongues through your crevasses.

I'm sorry, that was rude, all your pardon's I beg

    but I’m the Hulk...nuff said.

How can I quench my thirst for yon poon

    when with what I’m scooping is less then a spoon?

Dear listeners don't take this to heart

    I, the Hulk don't understand, and I don't expect you to start.

If you see a green creature tumbling past

    don't stare to long at my tightly stretched pants.

I'm the Hulk and my skin may be bulletproof

    but my heart is small and squishy, sensitive, not aloof.

Take pity on my form, as powerful as it may be

    I’m the Hulk in most places except that which you will not see.

Author's Note

First draft. I know its crude but that's for humor so go easy on calling me names or whatever i'm in for. :)

Reviews

[shyamchat]

Ok... do let us know when u hv polished this one!

Nevertheless, I read your poem and enjoyed the same. The last four lines ,in my opinion,
is very sensitively wtitten :
'I'm the Hulk and my skin may be bulletproof

but my heart is small and squishy, sensitive, not aloof.

Take pity on my form, as powerful as it may be

I�m the Hulk in most places except that which you will not see.'.

Best wishes.

[Taylor H.]

hahaha lmao I loved this! Im showing all my friends lol

[LipglossKiller]

This is perfectly terrible and awful and I loved every second of it. Really funny!

[stephanee]

This is fantastically funny. There are a few rough spots in terms of rhythm (I don't know if you want real critiques or just the "love fest vibe"), but otherwise, great concept. You know, it's TRUE, one does get the feeling that the Hulk does not develop "bulk" in certain parts of his anatomy.