The Continuation

Written on my first experiance of a funeral

To really face it

The truth which lies deep within each day

Being 18 and having my first taste

Not perfect

But enlightened

To see the true meaning

The inevitable cycle

Borrowing energy

Love

Passion

Hate

Feelings

Trust

To one day

Reconcile that loan

Time is short

Realising

Change

Priorities

Where we place our goals

 

We are all falling

From birth we jump

As babies we start

On our desent we collide with others

Keeping some close

And making others foreigners

We all fall at different speeds

Some are closer to the end than we think

So who will be around when you hit the ground?

Will you reside a lone State

Or a great Continent

When you end your life’s plummet, who will care?

The celebration of life is a great joy

No matter who you are

Influence

Support

Words

You affect those within your borders

So to die

And not be remembered

Is a waste

From the peak of societies triangle to its base

Life respects us all the same

Author's Note

Please Be As Honest And Frank As Possible. I Need To Hear FULL Criticism

Reviews

[JelliFyshKissUs]

I have to admit that criticism or critiquing in any fashion is not my strong-suit>> But I can tell you that the thoughtfulness of your young mind is refreshing>> You are not indulging yourself in just the pleasures of today without thinking of the consequences of tomorrow>> You care about what legacy you leave behind>>> what your actions may do to others>>> And that makes for some enlightening poetry>> I find myself pondering just what it is I will be remembered for>>>who will be by my side during my last breaths>> And I actually do care>>>
To be so you and so thought-provoking is a success in itself>>

[Fashell]

The thoughts of the obstacles of life....everyone think about these things. Some voice it and some secretly wonder and toy with it. I like this piece because of its message of truth. I enjoy this piece.

[AlieahRose]

THIS IS TRUE...
YOU WROTE DOWN...
WHAT MOST OF...
US ARE AFRAID...
TO EVEN THINK...
THIS IS A...
GREAT WRITE OLAMIDE...

[PaperDoll]

"We all fall at different speeds." I love that line. It's so true. So simple, and yet very profound. I like this poem a lot. Well done. :)

[.]

your stream of conscious introspection is with a depth of enlightenment..funerals especially your first will bring a spectrum of emotional questions and I like your train of thought of falling through life..some would agree that life feels like that..nicely done..

[Liza]

the recognition of fragile life at 18 is a much needed wake up call; we're all fragile and the final resting place is equal to us all....

[E.H. Monroe]

Gotta leave some s**t in your wake my friend. You are right, the grim fact that we would love to leave a mark, but on a long enough time line we affect almost nothing.
We can get someone to smile, or cry. Beyond that its all fucked up window dressing.
The state, amongst others. The continant large, but alone.
We'll take the big ticket and fall into obscurity.

Let's just hope when they dig up the eras forgotten they find our writing eh?

Right o

[SarahCortland]

I dont really see anything wrong with it. The thing about poetry as being critical is this how can we truly critisize your work when we have not heard it from your mouth. I think it has great form and i like it in general so good job

[Chris38]

I love the way you portrayed life as us all falling together and hoping to get to the end safely and not on our own. You wrote decent instead of descent but that is a minor thing. The last line is true though you could also say it disrespects all the same.

[Coyote Poetry]

You are correct in this poem. To be not remembered would be waste of a life. I believe a good life is a person is is kind and loved many. Few people remember the hateful and cold hearten people. We remember those who bend down to help us and gave love and safety. A funeral for a old person is different then a old one. Age bring death. When someone young die. Leave a lot more sadness and questions. A excellent poem. You made me think this morning.
Coyote