listen to me

Its a poem i wrote when i was sitting in garden.... :)

Listen to me

Listen to me as once listens to the rain,

Not attentive, and not distracted,

Light footstep, thin drizzle,

Water that is air, air that is time,

You are the only one that I care,

Listen to me as once I listen to the rain,

Listen to me (as in believe me),

From today, on my heart there will be your rule

Believe me, these stars of skies,
are nothing compared to you..

BUT

Listen to me as once I listen to the rain.

 

Author's Note

Hope you guys are gonna like this................. :)

Reviews

[The StoryTeller]

I don't think you needed to add in the (as in believe me) and I thought that it should be "listen to me as one listens to the rain" not "listen to me as once listens to the rain" but other than that, I have no grammar issues. I think this was beautiful, and it really shows the connection between us and nature and the beauty of Nature itself.

"Live As If You're Gonna Die"
"In thᴉƧ wØrld wə lᴉvə ᴉn..."

-Resilient
-Blade

[Lavender Soya]

I like it. It displays your potential in writing. Keep them coming! :-)

[Valentine]

A soft and gentle plea in a sweet write. Kathie

[Chris]

Sometimes putting your thoughts into word form helps us to better understand our selves. It isn't a weakness or failing and it's not nearly as easy as some think. Being "aware" of ourself helps make us aware of others AND the world around us.

Being heard is a "need" for many just as listening is also important as well.

[Ishita Dixit]

Listen to me as i listen to the rain!
Wow!
Nicely done. Keep it up. :)

[Ov3R_sKiLl3D]

thanks for your review :)

[Ishita Dixit]

Welcome :)

[Emily]

'Listen to me as once I listen to the rain'
Love this line!
Keep it up!!

[Ov3R_sKiLl3D]

Thanks for your kind words :)

[Lizardo]

We all sometimes in our life for people to hear us, to hear what we have to say.
It's a really good poem, Great writing here!

[Ov3R_sKiLl3D]

thank you....... :)

[Cool Girl]

Very well written and very passionate.. :)

[Ov3R_sKiLl3D]

Thanks C>G..... :)

[Cool Girl]

You're welcome:)