Draft Diary Entries

These are drafts that I wrote for my story, they're not in chronological order, but in an order someone could find them without being too confusing, I hope. The lines show the ending of a diary entry

07-06-19_19:20_Haydn

It’s almost evening and I went for a quick run before it gets too dark. I think I saw an old friend of Phebe on the streets, I didn’t have the time to have a good look, but she seemed a bit odd? I can’t really place it, but she seemed like someone with bad intentions and I don’t really trust this girl, even if she was friends with Phebe.

Later on, I took a shower and decided to chill, there was this dumb show on tv that I ended up watching, nothing special happened later that evening.

-Haydn

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09-06-19_18:40_Phebe

I am writing while sitting here in the park, I cycled here to clear my thoughts, but since the weather is nice and clear there are a lot of sweaty boot campers running around like fools here, which is quite amusing.

Haydn, my apologies for not noticing your previous entry, I was so excited that I must’ve missed it. But you and Eira are indeed right, the person you saw is my childhood friend, Evelyn, so there is no need to be prejudiced against her. I haven’t seen her in ages, but we’ve been friends since elementary. I don’t clearly remember why we lost contact, I’m guessing that happened due to me moving to NY. However, today my path crossed with Evelyn once again, we exchanged phone numbers and agreed on meeting each other again soon. I’m very thrilled to see Evelyn again, I remember we used to have this same passion for writing.

I keep re-reading my novel, it’s done and I personally think it is perfect, but I keep having the doubt that there’s a small mistake somewhere, one that I missed. It keeps stressing me out and the appointment is still so far away… I am longing for the day my book is finally on the shelves of the bookstores.

The worst enemy of creativity is self-doubts,

- Sylvia Plath,’ the unabridged journals of Sylvia Plath’

I made sure to water all the plants, one of them died recently, so I changed to code.

And Haydn, you’re lucky I’m against food waste otherwise I would’ve thrown your smoothies in the trash bin. I can’t believe you actually bought even more of them.

-Phebe

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10-06-19_11:15_Ada

DRAWING. Drawing of them and the side character, happy and positive drawing,

-Ada

10-06-19_19:45_Haydn

You’ve all lost your minds. You only know her from childhood and you immediately trust her? You were way younger back then. I’ve seen her, she looks like a bad person, stay away from her. I saw on the calender another appointment with her, I canceled it and deleted her number. Please stop being stupid for once.

-Haydn

11-06-19_05:30_Eira

I really do love this job, but is waking up this early really worth it? Is this well-paid job really worth losing precious sleep? If there’s anyone again ordering huge amounts of pastries without some decent behavior I might lose my patience, just as I’m slowly losing my patience with you Hadyn.

Rule 1: Please be respectful to other members of the collective system.

Rule 12: We, the system, are all responsible for any collective actions.

We have rules here in this system, and you broke two from these. We are not supposed to interfere with each other’s personal lives. Yes, we share one body, but we are all different and have our own lives. If Phebe wants to meet with their old friend, then they have the freedom to do so.

It’s not wrong to be cautious sometimes, but we should not make decisions for each other, and learn to trust each other.

Also, Ada, that’s a wonderful drawing! You keep getting better, we should definitely put this one up on the fridge.

TODO:

1. Grocery shopping

2. Clean the bathroom

-Eira

Second entry:

*PRIVATE*

Hadyn can sometimes be unreasonable, or very overprotective. But I learned that most of the time, there is actually an underlying truth behind that behavior of hers. It might not be as real as how she is experiencing it, though it is still worth investigating it. I’ll see what I find out.

-Eira

08-06-19_22:30_Phebe

It is fairly late in the evening and I am currently in my apartment, well, not really my apartment since my parents are still insisting on paying for this dreadful place.

Right now I still do not earn enough to pay my parents off and to go somewhere else.

But, as Paulo Coelho said in The Alchemist: ’People are capable, at any time in their lives, of doing what they dream of.‘ For me, this is almost turning into reality, after all these months of blood, sweat, and tears I have finally finished my novel.

A dream doesn’t become reality on a day through magic, it takes bravery, passion, and time to work toward your dreams. Even though I am almost there, I still can’t honestly believe that it is becoming truth. Sometimes while working on this novel, it felt like I wasn’t really conscious, that I wasn’t even writing it myself. Maybe I’m still asleep?

Even if I’m asleep,(don’t you dare wake me up) in this reality I have finished my novel and I have contacted my new publisher. We agreed to meet up on the 20th of June to discuss the last details and small edits before my novel goes into production. Due to my publisher, the anticipation of my book is way higher than expected, and the chances of this going well are high. Meaning, that it is likely that we will soon leave this place, and I don’t have to be dependent anymore.

Haydn, if you’re reading this, could you please stop buying those smoothies on your next grocery shopping duty? I have read your ‘pep talk’ about how it is healthier but really… this is too much, and it’s tasteless too. I don’t understand how people can name this healthy. Could you please switch it up a bit more?

-Phebe

08-06-19_09:15_Eira

I was actually early at work this morning, and it’s been an extremely busy morning. I didn’t know it could be this stressful. Someone was so rude to give us an order for a 100 pastries, without calling in advance.

Phebe, I’m very happy to hear that your future goal of being a successful writer is coming closer! I’d be amazing if it’d actually get sold, can’t wait to get my hands on your novel myself. Also, I think I met an old friend of yours on the streets, I didn’t have the time to stop and chat, but maybe you’ll get the opportunity to bump into her on the streets yourself if you’d ever get out of the house, that is.

And no, I can’t bring food from work, those are for customers and it is simply not allowed, stop asking me about it...

TODO:

1. Water plants

2. Message work for a day off on the 20th of June

-Eira

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15-06-19_02:45_Haydn

*PRIVATE*

sthgil eht ffo nrut DONT esaelp, sthgil eth ffo nrut t’nod. deracs os m’I

( I’m scared, don’t turn off the lights, please don’t turn off the lights.)

-Haydn

16-06-19_12:30_Ada

*Drawing*  I S Hady O K?

-Ada

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11-06-19_14:45_Ada

*DRAWING* car accident

-Ada

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15-06-19_5:40_Eira

Business is going well these days, besides two people not willing to talk to each other… it is going okay.

TODO:

1. Check route and weather for 20th of June

2. Sunday is cleaning day

3. Call insurance

*PRIVATE*

I’ve seen Evelyn multiple times now and we talked a bit more. I’m starting to see what Hadyn means. Certain ways could indeed be seen as odd. She keeps asking me about Phebe’s novel, I understand that the novel is interesting, but she’s asking too much just to be ‘interested’ Phebe already agreed on traveling together with Evelyn on the 20th of June, so I don’t have any good excuses to stop it.

-Eira

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11-06-19_23:30_Phebe

"Forgiving isn't something you do for someone else. It's something you do for yourself. It's saying, 'You're not important enough to have a stranglehold on me.' It's saying, 'You don't get to trap me in the past. I am worthy of a future.'"

-"Jodi Picoult, The Storyteller

We all have our own lives, and you had no right to cancel my meeting, Haydn. I tolerate you, so you have to tolerate me too.

Evelyn contacted me and I we will still meet up, even if you do not agree with me. I will not note my appointments down in the future.

I am still waiting for an apology

-Phebe

12-06-19_16:30_Eira

Work was very quiet today, Evelyn came by today during work. She is polite and nice, so I don’t see why we should be worried about her.

-Eira

13-06-19_20:05_Haydn

I’m not going to apologize for trying to save our lives. You know the moment something happens to you when you’re conscious, it will also affect me once I wake up in the body.

-Haydn

14-06-19_6:40_Eira

Ignoring each other isn’t helping or solving anything. Just apologize alrea-.

-Eira

NO -Haydn

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21-06-19_16:50_Mike

Hello? If anyone really does read these please help me, I don’t know where I am. My name is Mike, I don’t know for how long I’ve been here, or what happened. All the walls are white.

-Mike

22-06-19_19:45_Haydn

Ugh everything hurts

I’m also in the white room, we’re in a hospital. Mike, can you tell us the place where you are when you’re not conscious? Try to describe it so we can find you.

-Haydn

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23-06-19_09:50_Eira

We were in an accident, together with Evelyn. I was there.

Evelyn kept visiting the bakery during my work hours, so I ended up talking to her quite often. I was wary about her because of how Hadyn had reacted to her but I really thought she was a good person, until the accident.

Phebe already agreed with Evelyn that they’d drive together to ... for the meeting with the new publisher. Everything was fine at first, we chatted a bit and listened to the radio. When you get to the outskirts of the city, you’ll notice that the roads will get bumpier and that there’s more nature than buildings. That’s when Evelyn seemed to have lost her mind.

She suddenly started to accelerate the car, since this was so unexpected I screamed and asked what she was doing. In return, I only got some mumbling I could not understand. I told her to stop the car but she didn’t listen, she completely ignored me as if she was in some kind of a trance.

Once she was on the highest speed she took her hands from the steering wheel and started some preach about how she should be the one gaining fame. I honestly don’t remember it clearly, I was too scared and busy trying to take control of the steering wheel. My attempt was in vain, since we drove straight into a tree, and that’s the moment I blacked out.

The first time I was conscious again I heard sirens in the background, and I remember someone pulling me out of the car... I also remember the blood that covered my clothes.

The second time I woke up again, I was in this same hospital bed as now, and the doctor told me where I was and what happened, he also brought me the news that Evelyn passed away due to the car crash.

The doctor told us that we’re lucky to be alive and that we still need to recover for a few days more before we are allowed to go home. The publisher also knows about what happens, and it still willing to publish the book if we still want to.

Also, I believe Ada already found Mike. I suggest we take it easy till we’re back home.

-Eira

16-06-19_12:30_Ada

*Drawing of Ada and Mike*

-Ada

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23-06-19_18:10_Haydn

I knew it, I KNEW IT! The doctors told me everything, the whole car crash thing, because of Evelyn.

Evelyn was the one who put us in danger and you were all so stupid to trust and believe her. You should’ve listened to me. She got what she deserved, she can’t hurt us anymore.

-Haydn

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28-06-19_15:00_Phebe

"The reason death sticks so closely to life isn't biological necessity" it's envy. Life is so beautiful that death has fallen in love with it, a jealous, possessive love that grabs at what it can. But life leaps over oblivion lightly, losing only a thing or two of no importance, and gloom is but the passing shadow of a cloud."

Yann Martel, Life of Pi

I cannot remember the last time I’ve been unconscious for so long. It’s already the 25th? I missed my own appointment it seems. I am going to try to find all the diary entries from the past couple of weeks, to see what you all have been up to, and what happened.

Eira, I am so extremely sorry, I don’t know how to express my feelings the right way, but I am so sorry that you had to experience that because of me. I never would’ve thought that Evelyn would do something like that, I never saw it coming. I guess I was blinded, biased. I don’t know how to act on this whole situation, how do I even start accepting this? If there is anything I can do to ease the pain that was brought upon you please tell me.

Even the book, our future, everything was on the stake because of her, how could she do that to us? I always tried my best to be a good friend, to be a good writing buddy, and this is what she did? She flung us towards our own death? What did I ever do wrong to her?

I don’t even know how to process this really, or how to even accept this.

I am so grateful that you’re okay, that we are okay, the publisher is still willing to take the novel and to distribute the book.  All endings are also new beginnings, so maybe, with this ending, our new beginning will finally start?

-Phebe

Author's Note

Every line shows an ending of a diary entry.

Please tell me what you think! Is the story understandable and clear? Is there anything that is confusing? Any other feedback is also always welcome :)