I'm in love with you still.

Situations will make you act. Dreams that will take you back to the past to haunt you. Reality that shatters that built in expectations. Life that makes you question, is it worth just breathing?

I'm in love with you.
Sad, isn't it?
After all these years that has passed in a blink of an eye, I still love you.
I shouldn't.
Not after how things have changed.
It's not at all fair to you.
All you ever wanted was maybe friendship or maybe nothing to do with me.
It makes me feel sad that only I feel this tinge of pain and regret within me that's been eating me alive.
How is it fair that only I feel this way?
What's wrong with me?
Why does my heart feel heavy as soon as I receive an indifferent text from you now?
Even after all this time.... Why am I the only one who relives and remember all what we had back in time?
I screwed up, I know.
But I did try everything I could to save at least the friendship.
It makes me feel empty and how pathetic I was.
Seeing every other relationship I've been in is all because of a lie I keep telling myself that it's not because of you.
I wish I could change the past.
I wish we hadn't met.
I wish I hadn't spoken to you.
I wish you didn't make me feel special and different.
I wish I had nothing to do with you.
How can I?
How can I feel and love when all I think is about you and how I regret every single decision I ever made after you.
My life is ruined.
And what can I even do to make it right?
Not thinking about you and stop loving you?
You think I haven't tried that?
It's sick as how much emotions I have towards you while all I meant is nothing to you.
Was I not worth it? Idk. Maybe not.
It shouldn't have ended this way.
'Us' was never an option and 'We' will never happen.
Even after knowing that it didn't stop me.
How ? How ?
Tell me how can you just forget what happened?
You told you'll find me ....
You told you'll find me even if I was on the other side of the world.
And here we are in the same locality and we don't even see each other.
You told I'll always have a place in your heart no matter what when I told you to forget about me.
How did it vanish?
And why do I remember this and you don't?
Was it all a lie?
What did you get from it?
Nothing other than me being in pain without your knowledge wishing everyday you were here.
Tell me how you did it.
Tell me how you forgot me like the wind blowing dried leaves?
Tell me how you don't think of me like before.
Tell me how you became indifferent.
Tell me what I have to do to forget you
Make it go away.
Make it all go away.
I don't want this pain and hollowness anymore.
Take it away with you.
Make me forget the pain.
Make me be like how happy you are with someone else.
Sad, isn't it?
And
I'm in love with you still.

Author's Note

Greetings lovely readers!!!
I wrote this when I was emotionally drained and I could do absolutely nothing to change the situation I was in.
I would love to know what you all feel and think about this.
What I should improve and develop in my writing.
Also this is my first time posting online one of my works.
Hope you all enjoyed.
Merci beaucoup.
Au revoir.

Reviews

[AliceBarnes]

That was just wow! You write so beautifully. I loved the layout and the questions that really got you into the narrators head. You have a certain way of being able to reel readers in and let them know of the past, while letting them know the present and at the same time not bore them or give too much information to the reader all at once. A very lovely poem that I really enjoyed reading.

[Ny]

Thank you so much for taking your time and reading this. It really means a lot to me.
About the poem, it was kind of an experience. I write what I feel and writing helps me get off my emotions.
It's like an escape from reality and as a writer yourself, I believe you know this all to well as we can construct any kind of world we like.
Once again thank you so much and I'm honoured to have you as my first reader and reviewer.
It's nice to meet you AliceBarnes .

[AliceBarnes]

No problem, I really did enjoy the poem very much. I am glad my comment meant so much to you and I look forward to reading more of your works in the future. It's nice to meet you too!