I've Done It

So a lot of the writers I've subscribed to have been writing about their suicide stories. I think that suicide prevention is something that should be talked about more, so this is my story.

TRIGGER WARNING (I THINK?)

I’ve written out a suicide letter.

I’ve left it on the kitchen counter, right where I’ll be lying.

I’ve clutched a bottle of pills in my hand and opened it.

I’ve tipped the pills out on the countertop, at least 40 tumbling out.

I’ve gathered them all in my hand.

I’ve moved my hand towards my mouth and opened it.

I’ve poured the tablets into my mouth.

I’ve never swallowed.

I open my mouth again and watched as the pills fell from my mouth, covered in spit. I clutch the kitchen counter, knuckles pale from gripping it so tight. I let sobs rack at my body and I cryuntil my body can’t produce anymore tears.

I clean the countertop, wiping it down, removing any evidence of my attempt.

I throw the pills away, the trash can slamming shut.

I wipe away my tears.

And as my parents walk through the door, I smile, telling them I watched a sad movie.

I take a shower, letting my tears mix with the water.

I don’t want this. I don’t deserve this.

But I’ve done it.

Author's Note

So I know that when you're that close to committing suicide, you on't tend to stop yourself. There is more to this story that I just couldn't bring myself to write about. Also, it sound like I stuffed 40 pills in my mouth, I didn't. I took about 10 or 15.

Reviews

[Jeremy]

Like your profile suggests, I would classify this more as a short-story than a poem, but that's not a bad thing. You take the reader through your suicide attempt step by step which is interesting and sad to read.
From a storyteller standpoint, what would you think about ending the "I've" at the line "I've never swallowed." That line implies that you've done all the preceding steps before but never actually swallowed the pills, which is what I'm assuming you were trying to say. I think it would be much more powerful to switch to the present after the line "I've never swallowed," allowing the reader to experience the pain and fear with you while it's happening in a present sense.
For example:
"I've poured the tablets into my mouth.
I've never swallowed
I open my mouth again and watch as the pills fall from my mouth, covered in spit..."
I think the switch from past to present tense might make the piece more powerful, but I do think it works well either way. Good job, thanks for sharing.

[Red]

Thanks, I think that would work really well!

[Spilt]

This is really purposeful and deep. I'm always here if you ever need to talk to someone. I'm always here to listen.

[Hanlan Paquin]

Oh my god. You have written a very powerful poem. I know what it is like to be in a position like this, I've been there. If you ever need to talk, I'm here, I'll listen. I love you.

[Shattered Rose]

this is really powerful. If you ever need to talk don't hesitate to sent me a message