Untitled (You Lied)

After the talks
After the fights
After the crying
And all throughout the laughter
You lied

 

Sweetly
Unassumingly
Blatantly.
And I listened too trustingly while
You lied

 

I've become unshackled from denial
For denial is no longer entangled with trust
Trust had a tryst with truth
And deteriorated when introduced to reality
Since reality declares
You lied

 

Again...

 

and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and againand again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again

 

Your affliction for
My antagonism toward being raped
Over! and over! and over!
By you
Is not only duplicitous
But also contemptible

 

My amazement at
Your affected chastity and sincerity
Is boundless.
I am grief-stricken
Defeated
Outraged

 

You lied.

Reviews

[[untitled]]

Very moving. I liked the repititious "and again" i think it intensifies the feeling of being repeatedly violated. One may choose not to read the couplet in its entirety, but it is clear that they are the same words and one will walk away with the same feeling-- of being overwhelmed. There is even a point when the two words run into eachother. I was going to initially suggest that you fix it as it may be a type-o, but it serves another pupose. It shows that the narrator is indeed tired, tired of being mislead and violated. um, Exhausted as one would be from experiencing such devestation.
Over all my favorite is the 3rd stanza,

I've become unshackled from denial
For denial is no longer entangled with trust
Trust had a tryst with truth
And deteriorated when introduced to reality
Since reality declares
You lied

LOVE IT! Clever... The consonace in the line "Trust had a tryst with truth" caught my eye as well.
good work!

[Ryan D. Mosley]

This was extremly moving and a wondeful piece f poetry. Thank you so much for sharing this with me. I do have a suggestion. I reccomend yu alter the "again and again and again and again..." part. It should be either one strong "again and again" or this: "again and again and again". I recommend the latter for your purposes. Three agains will have the same effect without sounding bad like the multiple "again and again"s. that's all I really have to recommend. I truly enjoyed reading this poem. Overall: Great Job!

[mattavelli]

This is awesme!!!
Strong emotion.
This part was great:
"I've become unshackled from denial
For denial is no longer entangled with trust
Trust had a tryst with truth
And deteriorated when introduced to reality
Since reality declares
You lied"

[Nykkiicia Cion]

thank u imnoromeo...the use of so much repetition is actually used to help with the visual imagery...u know? ...unending, so i didnt want to use like just two over and overs...

[imnoromeo215]

i like it and i like the use of repetition but i think the "again and again" was a little to much but it is still an excellent poem

[nicki_504]

This is a very moving poem, I especially liked the use of repetition in getting your point across.