Cinderella

She walks upon glassy floors

Chandeliers shine above her,

Her robes made of crimson flesh

Studded with blood stained diamonds.

She is not helpless now,

She is the queen

She reigns, she rules

Her word is order

Her voice is the command.

She is not the flower of the valley,

Nor is she the morning dew.

She is now a trophy

Decorating the castle walls.

No longer she works to serve

No longer she yearns for true love.

She is now the queen

She is the desired.

Her beauty is noble

Its no longer innocent.

She thinks with her mind

No longer she feels with her heart

Cinderella is still Cinderella

But only in name.

She no longer wishes for dreams

She lives with fragments of it.

She is now the queen

Her prince is the king

She despises his touch

She has forgotten that she loved him.

He despises her,

For time had betrayed her youth.

She walks like her head held up high

She falters,

Her glass slipper breaks.

But it is no worry, no fairy is required   

                                      She has a closet full of them.

Reviews

[Irenic]

She walks like her head held up high
She falters,
Her glass slipper breaks.

But it is no worry, no fairy is required
She has a closet full of them.


these lines are very beautiful and creative. The way you have written how much it doesnt matter if her shoes are broken gives me a moral that it doesnt matter if hurdles arise in my path because these are the hurdles which make me to go up from 0 to 10 and then 10 to 100.

Thanks for writing so beautifully.
Keep on writing.
Thanks for sharing it with all of us :)

[Nwang]

Thanks for the review.

[Irenic]

Welcome dear

[Diamond]

She walks on glassy floors
Chandeliers shine above,

Her robes made of crimson flesh
Studded with blood stained diamonds.

She is not helpless now,
For She is the queen

She reigns and rules

Her word is order
voice is command.

She is not a flower of the valley,
Nor the morning dew.

She is now a trophy
Decorating the castle walls.

No longer she works to serve
Nor she yearns for true love.

She is now the queen
the most desired.

Her beauty is noble
And not innocent.

She thinks with her mind
No more feels with heart

Cinderella is still Cinderella
But only in name.

She no longer wishes for dreams
but lives with fragments of it.

She is now the queen
Her prince is the king

She despises his touch
And forgets that she loved him.

He despises her,
For time betrays her youth.

She walks her head held up high
She falters,
Her glass slipper breaks.

But no worry, no fairy is required
She has a closet full of them.


I reduced the usage of the words "she", "the", "her" and "it" as and where possible and appropriate. Those sounds can cause a jumping sound in the poem. Hope my suggestion is of some value for you. I do not have enough experience though. Keep writing.

[Diamond]

I can sense the royalty as well as the dryness of Cinderella's new life in this work. If only one can start thinking with mind, there would neither be true loves nor heartbreaks. I like the concept of the poem anyway.

Would you like me to critique this work for you? I am asking you since I found some adjustments to make the flow better.

[Nwang]

I have no problem with it. Be my guest. I am always looking for improvement.

[WriterGirl247247]

So well written. I love the idea of Cinderella becoming someone else and forgetting who she truly was, like many of those that find success. Very nice.

[Nwang]

Thanks for your review!!!

[Nisreen]

An unfeeling woman is one that is a pretty beautiful disaster
destroying sentiment
by believing that ruling anything
is a matter of overbearing strength

while leadership is all about compassion
never force

nicely done Sir

[Nwang]

Thank you @Curiosity I definitely agree with you on that point.

[thaleeyaLuna]

Beautifully written poem. . .
It gave me a new image of Cinderella - more regal and prized.
Nice concept and the ending leaves a smile on one's face.

[Nwang]

Thanks for the review.