Another

Another time, another place
Entangled
Another you, another me
Unraveled
Another breath, another word
Effervesced
To but an ethereal
Remembrance

Like a gossamer shroud
a nebulous metaphor
or roiled heavens
I cannot remember
what was parted between
veiled lips

I do not need to remember
to feel, as always,
entangled,
unraveled,
evanesced

Am I also a seething memory
in another time,
in another place,
for another you,
In every lethean breath?

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

the vocabulary in this is insane...it is so apt, so perfect to the theme, and yet it flows so naturally, no entaglement, unraveling and evanescence for the reader...
I really like the emotion in this piece.
j.

[Nusquam Esse]

As I already mentioned, it is always a balancing act between using the most precise vs the most natural word. There are some words that deserve to be used more; lethean may not be a common word, but it has some great nuance and imagery! A river erasing memories, how does it resemble the roiling of a cloth which both tangles and unravels? I ended up refining this one from the original that popped into my head by inserting subtle alliteration and partial rhymes along with a slight structure built around the pacing of words and some repetition. It ended up giving it a type of rhythm that my original lacked. Finally, I tweaked some words to match a theme of 'cloth' with the idea of how that is what naturally we imagine to be tangling or unraveling. I am glad the words I chose resounded with you, thanks for visiting.

[X]

life is always changing and nothing stays the same... "another time another place another you.." I love your lines the repetitions and the feeling of longing for what once was... that time that place that you...that us..
I enjoy your writing!

[Delmar Cooper]

Another season, another reason, for makin' whoopee. In other words, this reader likes the way the words play. " lethean" and "gosmer" are spell checker fodder.