I had a Dream (Eleventh Night)

I had a dream

permeated with

a wistful sorrow

in heavenly domain

I don’t know why

zephyrs billowed numb sorrow

through the cloistered window

of our isolated chamber

far above the world of man

where we could be alone

in lachrymose pathos

mourning the passing

of an age

at the zenith of alabaster

monolithic intrusions

we had only to gaze

out enclosed panes

to behold seraphim

kindling heaven’s flame

to smite the hubris

of Icarus below

perhaps I could

mourn the fall of

ambitions and desire

if I had felt more than

bittersweet tenderness

in everything lost

to heaven's indiscriminate

apathetic agape

for the transience of

all things

like heaven ignored

these ivory walls

to pinion wax wings

of Daedalus’s own

likewise did I ignore that agape

filled with eros

for your silhouette

aloof from the world above

within this sundered

reliquary of our

amaranthine past

flickering moments

of passion and pain

on the mirrors

of your altar's reredos

tracing your lips

which I have never seen

only felt

on lingering brushes

of timid heart

if only this had been enough

if I had never tried to see

then perhaps I could have

kept your shroud with me

but as I lifted that pale sheet

there was nothing beneath

but my own regret

and a whispered impression

that I would always be alone

and without you

I felt only numbed sorrow

for everything

I could never abide here

an eternity on the threshold

of purgatory

alone

I seized your frail veil

wrapping it about me

I leapt

through enticing window

to be borne on damning draft

to chaos

of Babel below

Reviews

[Kuandio]

I enjoyed the first two poems enough so that was kind of eager to read more of them

At first the style is relaxed, smooth flowing, but then I had to slow down to pay attention and make sure I was getting the drift

Nice line (there was a bunch of them) - "our isolated chamber far above the world of man"

The third stanza will probably confuse a lot of people. The fourth stanza makes a lot of sense, as well as the fifth. Very powerful. There are way more erudite words in this poem than the previous, more than enough to slow down the reading quite a bit. So much philosophical loneliness. If this is an expression of the way you feel, I understand, but I hope brighter times are on the way for you

Overall, I think these poems are good enough that you should try to publish them

[Nusquam Esse]

Another one that I failed to properly reply to, apologies. Yes... I write these with a stream of consciousness approach, so they are very much influenced by my mental state. This one I was more wordy than usual; it definitely stands out... but then and again, I don't think that dreams are consistent... Only word that I ended up actually looking up was reredos, because I knew what I wanted to describe, but I honestly had no idea what it was called... so I left a blank to come back to it later on. I don't currently feel this way, I have been a lone wolf for much of my life, but I never particularly minded it. As of late, I have found someone which really matters to me, so I am not in this state at the current time... I simply imagined what it would be like to lose that person... yeap, and a myriad of emotions fill me. Anyway, I am flattered that you liked these so much; once I finish the collection of 21 dreams, I do fully intend to publish them.

[AprilRN1210]

awwww, bittersweet madness here sir... not bad.. I agree with my girl down there.. it started to sizzle a little then fizzled out too soon.. what a tease!.... this one had so much sadness and aching in it... which left me with conflicting emotions... but it did make me FEEL.. so good job there... I still say make the font smaller... it will make it more enjoyable... that's just me though...

[Nusquam Esse]

why of course... it isn't going to end well... :( Perhaps once I get some of those earlier chapters done, it won't feel quite so short... although it is never going to feel like enough. I am glad it could get you feeling, especially with all that conflict. Ahhh, and duh... need to fix the font.

[Frieda P]

I thought at first I had read this dream since its starts out the same way, but you took it in a whole new sultry direction. Bittersweet reminisces of an undying love and passion, the fire went out much too soon, feels like purgatory indeed sometimes. An 'enticing window'...an intriguing concept when we want the madness to stop...

[Nusquam Esse]

Yep, they all start the same way, and end with some slight variation. The first ten dreams are intended to be sweet in their own special ways, I am trying to cover a wide spectrum of 'impressions', and then the last ten will be cold and painful... This one is sort of a transition point, much more reserved than the chapter that follows it. Of course I had to write them all out of order... and I just... handle dark and unpleasant better than I handle sweet; just the way that I live you know? So the opening parts might take a while. Thanks for reading Frieda, as always I enjoy your impressions. Ummm... a couple questions... #1 Do you think it is a good idea to start them all more or less the same? #2 Do you think it works better with the separate 'stanzas', or if I should make it all one wall (conflicted over presentation, and emulating a dream's flow), #3 Do you think I should keep avoiding punctuation and capitalization? (for the reasons above)

[Frieda P]

I don't really but that's just my opinion, it's a bit confusing if you don't realize where you're going, I almost didn't finish reading, and I'm sure with your talent you could come up with a fascinating beginning each time...I like the separate stanzas myself...I'm not a huge fan of too much punctuation in poetry and too many caps can be grating to the eye but I think the way you've used them in the past makes a point...but then you're going to get those sticklers for punctuation, so you have to go with your own intention's desire and not worry about what everyone thinks, imho....

[Nusquam Esse]

mmm, good point there... I suppose that I could probably do some strong openings and closings, that really tie in together... endings tend to be my strong suite anyway. I will probably keep up this current scheme until I finish all the dreams, if nothing else so I don't focus too much on transitions... then probably go back, and tie all the dreams together into a stronger flowing piece. I think I need to finish making them before I make any major changes to the format. I just want to make these feel like dreams, I don't want to tell a dream... I want to be lost in one... :P

[Frieda P]

Make it good and I'll get lost in that dream with you. :)

[Nusquam Esse]

hah, that is what I want it to do... :D It is all just drafts and concepts right now... But I really like this idea so far... if I was going to make an anthology for poetry, it would be like this...

[Frieda P]

I like the dream theme too, but are you going to wear your chicken costume to the ball?

[Nusquam Esse]

no no.... far too easy to pluck and strip me naked... Plus there is the whole bit about being cooked in my juices. A dragon seems a bit more fitting for public events. But perhaps I will need to write an unrelated chicken dream... just for you. :P

[Frieda P]

HA now this I gotta see! ;P

[Nusquam Esse]

Chickens are chicken for a reason... all these maidens talking about how they taste... =_= No one says "mmm... taste like dragon."

[Frieda P]

Now that's funny!.............