Eclipsed by a diadem of stars Crumbling
'neath obliviating suns Parodied
by penumbrous moons; Left only to strive under the Void Shackled
to a voracious demise
Roaring omnipresent truth, Withholding
the key to see Through
cornerstones of dismay, Exiled by cruel, bereft Time.
Twas but a piece of the finite When
I first gazed within Eyes
endowed with fathomed tides. I'll never feel love, But
even this beast wept
As you lay in my arms, Cold
as the night's shadow Which
bore you to me, I understood the infinite Sorrow
With trembling hands
I sought ardor Cold
skin will never hold. I waited, isolated--a suicide Crushed
under despair Borne away on untraveled rivers, I'll
search in solitude For a way to bridge infinities Which
will always be One...
I have read this now so many times I think it is starting to change from a poem to a mantra. And what i relate to the most is the desire to avoid the gesture of caving in. Becuase at the start is already been put under pressure by the power of the mighty celestial objects something preventing from forming, relating sent into excile even. It is ardous. But then a revelation of sorts, destiny driven brought if anything a little hope although fear it evokes. What lives here will not cave - in. Remain "die-hard"
I cannot but repeat what jennie said. your word choice is nothing but stunning Nusquam. every time I come to an adjective, I have to repeat it to savour it on my tongue. whether prose or verse, your writings are always food for thought.
as always, I feel so small when reading your writes.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
If it makes you feel any better, I often feel small when I write them; as if their scale dwarfs me.... read moreIf it makes you feel any better, I often feel small when I write them; as if their scale dwarfs me... :| Good to know that I can handle myself with verse; it is likely something that I won't pursue with any seriousness... but who knows? Thanks for reading!
Your word choice always astounds me. It's maybe a little esoteric sometimes but always apropos; for example, you could simply say "crown" but "diadem" is so much more artistic. A reader could ponder over how to interpret this poem for a long time, too. But my favorite part is that last stanza and last line. Brilliant!
I always enjoy and learn from your poetry. Please continue to inform me when you post something new.
Posted 10 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
10 Years Ago
As you said, diadem is not a widely used word, but it does carry a different meaning (if subtle) and.. read moreAs you said, diadem is not a widely used word, but it does carry a different meaning (if subtle) and feeling than crown; honestly, I just used the first word that came to mind... which for whatever reason was diadem. I will be sure to keep you posted when I upload something new; and am flattered that you enjoy reading my work, both poems and stories... I am a bit slow at it; since most of my work these days seems to be revisions, and transitions. I wrote this poem because I wanted to post something new, since it had been a while.
I'm a bit slow at coming up with fresh material these days. The newest poem I published here was rea.. read moreI'm a bit slow at coming up with fresh material these days. The newest poem I published here was really just my entry in a contest to make up a poem from song titles of one band (I chose Yes) so that was just for fun.
10 Years Ago
We all have those moments; I mean, I went a month or two without any stories, because I took on too .. read moreWe all have those moments; I mean, I went a month or two without any stories, because I took on too many projects at once. Throw in a really irregular biorhythm from work, and writing itself is inconsistent. Send me RRs whenever you post something new that you would like me to look over; don't feel like you are imposing.
Be it story or poem, you are magnificent.
(Except for that one that I needed a dictionary for.)
I truly enjoyed this. A bit sad but... Very good.
Posted 10 Years Ago
10 Years Ago
Indeed, I was more cruel than anything on that one... :P Glad you enjoyed it, and thank you for rea.. read moreIndeed, I was more cruel than anything on that one... :P Glad you enjoyed it, and thank you for reading.
10 Years Ago
Lol. Yes, I know you were intentionally cruel on that one. :)
****I have disabled RRs, since I just don't have the time and energy to continue returning every review. I have enough on my plate without nagging feelings of obligation; so please, do NOT review me .. more..