Deserted by dreams of heaven’s azure, I awaken alone in distant land. Isolated in sterile vaulted amber. Tempestuous hell I can’t understand.
Pallid eidôlon shuffling en masse, Chthonic ichor corrupts men enthralled. Shredding through effervescent titian gas, Amaranthine holocaust furor squalls!
What's my purpose here, in nebulous hell? Diffidence lingers; obscuring my mind. Descending to subdued tapestry’s pastel, Join a cortege for resigned mankind.
Each masked, so empty, expression devoid; Deadened feet to molten cadence low. A macabre nightmare contorted by Freud. Forcibly assimilating their flow.
Such beauty in this human condition, Majestic fury in Hades untamed. Within me stirs artistic ambition, Hidden raw zenith to be reclaimed.
No canvas to adorn with this rapture, But this ephemeral sulphuric mud. And no brush my bursting heart to capture, Except the trickle of my fading blood.
To intimate animus I am bound, Desperation forging my impression, Pouring with frenzied heartbeat to the ground. An artist devout to every passion.
Crimson erupts forth, clouding my vision. Oozing life-blood, defiling final art. So abruptly filled with my derision; Engrossed with vile conflict of the heart.
My dying mind vows to engrave this moment, Etching it forever, within my soul. But my breath never crosses the firmament. Enslaved forever to that console.
Deserted by dreams of heaven’s azure, I awaken alone in distant land. Isolated in frigid vaulted amber. Roused by brumal ardor, as if by command.
Through distant glass, an image holds me fast. Across asperous ice clawing the night. Jove, such sweet love, holds me captive at last. Surreally binding me to final endzeit.
Cruel ice twisted heaven-bound with malice. Riotous myriad of vivid maelstrom ablaze. Transcendence itself pours from Jove’s chalice. Haunted by perfection; trapped in its gaze.
A culmination of perpetual bliss Passion for sentiments immaterial Eternally consigned to reminisce. I must preserve this mirage æthereal!
A room filled with canvas unending. Unsure as to why, I never question. I’ll submit to my purpose unbending. Giving completely to my expression.
This is man's eternally paid penance, For trespassing on the domain of god. Submit ourselves to omnipresence. Forsaking souls for life steeped in fraud. So must man pay for his hubristic claim, Nevermore a Phoenix reborn in flame.
The basic premise of this narrative takes place first on Io and then on Europa (two of Jupiter's moons). I didn't elaborate much, but the man is basically a stored persona in a computer database of sorts, which is printed out. This is why each time he awakens more or less from the same dream. I decided to keep the premise a bit enigmatic; the mystery feels more full than any details I could iron out in a narrative poem. Furthermore, I did intend this to be allegorical, so let your mind go wild. I decided to express the 'thoughts' of the console through binary (although I doubt a computer in this time era would be using binary systems), if nothing else I thought it provided an interesting contrast to the 'poetic thought of the artist. For the sake of 'poetry', and aesthetic form, I decided to express all the computer's thoughts in 5 character intervals. All in all, this is not a conventional poem, and I realize that it is not an 'easy' read, but I wanted to try my hand at writing science fiction poetry with meaning; and this is what I got!
The painting was done by yours truly. I am planning on doing a second one (depicting Io/the first scene), but who knows when I will get around to it.
My Review
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Your technique is quite enthralling (albeit fairly intimidating, at times, to be frank) and very exquisite and intriguing in many ways. It took me quite a few reads to fully comprehend the meaning of your poem (which was absolutely wrong, but I shall state it anyways) and interpreted it as such, taken aback by the devastation and beauty you portray the end of the world as. The arrogance of humanity is quite apparent and the destruction of it is portrayed more like retribution, rather than revenge; the way you portray humanity makes it sound like they are in dire need of karmic punishment, and the nuclear destruction of the species is a godsend. Your speaker, having witnessed the end of humanity's reign, finally meets death and meets Jupiter, the god of gods, pertaining to some afterlife within which your speaker goes to after death.
Lastly, the ending was cryptic— Humanity, finally having mastered the ways of nature and manipulating all the laws set forth by the universe, put to an end by its own hand due to its inability to control its destruction. A phoenix that has died and never will rise again. Well done.
Artist data bank has TRULY been accessed!! I am always appreciative when I read work that gives me decent reason to learn new and wonderful words! Chthonic is a mighty fine find! Anyone who looks up what you have written will find you have indeed used the words correctly, and that is more than I can say for most people who use much lesser words. (I have tremendous respect for words and their uses.) I am curious if you are as disparaging of the legacy of Freud as I am. It would appear so. That coke fiend caused such setbacks to the science of psychology and even humanity, that I wish some kind of horrible disease could have taken him sooner...I have personal reasons for hating him, but just as many non-personal issues with him. All the same, I find if fascinating how you find yourself floating amongst the gas clouds of our largest of celestial neighbors (nearly another sun). Diffidence is truly something to overcome. I believe the muse will reward your passion. These "corrupt clusters" will be repaired. For certain my favorite line is "Riotous myriad of vivid maelstrom ablaze." Now that is real writing!! It seems like someone may love the movie 2001 as much as I do...but I know there is more to it than that! 01001001 00100000 01100001 01101101 00100000 01101110 01101111 00100000 01101111 01101110 01100101 00100111 01110011 00100000 01100010 01101001 01110100 01100011 01101000 "My God, it's full of stars!"
Strangely, I find your author note more compelling. What if you somehow combined the intention of both the poem and author note, dropping out the stark explanations and bringing out more of the allegory? Just throwing scraps on the table. I liked the stanzas 4-6-and the last.
This is truly wonderfully penned even if some of the words had me racing to my nearest dictionary lol.The lines are nice and rhyme very well.The idea behind it is interesting and leaves me wondering.....
I would love to say i loved it i really would, But i didn't understand allot of words in it, i didnt quite get the meaning behind it.
kneads to be more simple for me haha!
But i loved the rhyming and that way it flowed :)
Seems like it has allot of emotion put into it...
Sorry it doesn't quite have anything to do with my contest.
Id like if you made a poem and poetry....
and entered my contest because it has only one entry so far.
Great job keep writing :))
i think of emily dickinson saying
"we have the power to kill but not the power to die"
poets have words, and our words can heal or kill or get us in trouble....we are all like little gods playing with our keyboards...but only he is god, and sometimes we learn the hard way.
****I have disabled RRs, since I just don't have the time and energy to continue returning every review. I have enough on my plate without nagging feelings of obligation; so please, do NOT review me .. more..