Mono no Aware (物の哀れ)

A Sonnet utilizing dual-sestets followed with dual-quatrains on an Iambic Pentameter. An unorthodox AABBBA CCDDC EFFE GGHH rhyming scheme.

The speed at which these flowers fall below,
Crossing each other as they dance to and fro.
Ever apart they drift as they descend,
Forsaking each and every precious friend,
No one to greet them but ground's dismal end.
Likewise is man in life's pernicious flow.

Trapped within this cycle upon our birth,
Each soul to drift alone upon this earth,
Fate driveth to rend us ever apart.
Yet temporal bonds hold dear within our heart,
Our lives connecting to form vivid art,
Therein lies proof of our mortal life's worth.

Yet if all travel the valley of death,
Leaving a world of suffering and strife,
One wonders if there is purpose in life.
What shall we hold dear in our final breath?

If even the world shall meet its demise,
Meaning of purpose is hard to surmise.
Yet if fate from us a purpose withhold,
Perhaps our purpose is our own to mold.

Author's Note

Title is a Japanese phrase which embodies a gentle sadness and reserved melancholy for the transience of all things. In the end, all things must end; and in a way this gives it beauty. I am trilingual, and one of my languages is Japanese. I felt this phrase fit well, despite not being English. Since there is no true translation for the idea, I decided to preserve the original phrase. I am a novice with poetry, I have only written a handful of poems in my life; and my younger sister is generally regarded the poet of the family. I wrote this a couple years ago, and found it on a napkin stashed away in my closet. Decided to share, as inexperienced as I am.

Reviews

[CountNicholasAlti]

I already knew you were a great writer, but I suppose I was ignorant on the knowledge you hold of structure and meter. Excellent poem with a lusciously vivacious comparison from nature to humanity. I want to be a brat and start nit picking something you write because I usually can't find a single thing to suggest, but I wonder if in the first quatrain you find another adjective rather than "dying" as it almost seems redundant as you have already touched on the valley of death and possibly if another adjective could eliminate unnecessary repetition and further illustrate the final moments of existence? Just a meager suggestion, really, but I'm sick of you writing everything flawlessly so I had to take a shot!

[Vidya Bacchus]

I did enjoy it even if poetry is not your cup of tea lol.You wrote it well:)

[m.s.early]

Admirable structure, fluid, and melancholy. What an accurate an effective word, "temporal".

Your grace, rhyme, and rhythm certainly make up for any experience you think you lack.

And how hopelessly alone I felt while drifting with the flowers but thankfully redeemed when the narrator noted that I am purposeful and that is mine to make!

[Sami Khalil]

A splendid read and write...Thank you for sharing...:).................

[ZeniaK]

Wow, I'm seriously impressed. The flow of your poem was, well, PERFECT. Wonderfully crafted and well worded, too. It made me think of a crystal clear thought process of a philosopher's musings. I'm sorry if I'm not making sense, it makes sense in my head... anyway, what I'm trying to tell you is that your poem is amazing. Also... you speak Japanese?! That's awesome!!! Hey, do you watch anime?