How Trump Stole the American Dream

Spoof of How the Grinch Stole Christmas winter 2020

STUFF THE PINATA WITH MEXICAN THINGS

LIKE TACOS, TEQUILA, AND GOLDEN CHAINS

WARM UP THE BORDER WITH PIMPS AND HOES

AND TOPLESS BARS FOR THE AMERICAN BROS

FILL THE BORDER TOWNES FROM CEILING TO FLOOR

WITH MIGRANTS OR IMMIGRANTS THEN ADD SOME MORE

HANG FLAGS ON THE WALL, STOCK TEQUILA AT THE BAR

AMERICA IS CLOSE, IT'S NOT TOO FAR

THE OLD AND YOUNG THE SHORT AND TALL

HOPE TO FIND SOME WAY AROUND TRUMP'S GREAT  WALL

AND IF YOU ARE GOING TO JUMP IT PLEASE DON’T FALL

PACK YOUR BAG AND GRAB YOUR PACK 

AND BE SURE TO DRESS IN MIGRANT BLACK 

EVERY IMMIGRANT DOWN IN MEXICO LIKED AMERICA A LOT

BUT DONALD TRUMP WHO LIVED JUST NORTH OF MEXICO DID NOT!

TRUMP HATED AMERICA! (DON'T CONFUSE THAT WITH TREASON!)

NOW, PLEASE DON'T ASK WHY. NO ONE QUITE KNOWS THE REASON

IT COULD BE, PERHAPS, THAT HE WASN’T THAT BRIGHT.

IT COULD BE THAT HIS TIE WAS TIED A BIT TIGHT.

BUT I THINK THAT THE MOST LIKELY REASON OF ALL 

MAY HAVE BEEN THAT HIS C**K WAS TWO SIZES TOO SMALL

BUT, WHATEVER THE REASON, HIS C**K OR HIS HEAD

HE LOOKED DOWN ON MEXICO HIS HEART FILLING WITH DREAD

STARING DOWN FROM THE WHITE HOUSE WITH A SOUR TRUMPY FROWN

AT THE IMPOVERISHED IMMIGRANTS IN THEIR IMPOVERISHED TOWNS

FOR HE KNEW EVERY MIGRANT HUDDLED CLOSE TO THE BORDER

WOULD SOON CROSS THE LINE AND DISRUPT THE WORLD ORDER

“ AND THEY’RE PACKING THEIR BACKPACKS.” HE SNARLED WITH A SNEER

“THE IMMIGRANTS ARE COMING! THEY’RE PRACTICALLY HERE!”

AND SO HE TWEETED, WITH HIS TRUMP THUMBS RAPIDLY THUMPING 

“I MUST FIND SOME WAY TO KEEP THESE BAD HOMBRES FROM COMING!”

FOR, TOMORROW, I KNOW SOMETHING THAT FEW UNDERSTAND

THEY WILL ALL CLUMP TOGETHER FORMING A GREAT MIGRANT CARAVAN

AND THEN! OH, THE PLOYS!THE PLOYS!PLOYS!PLOYS!

EACH PLOY DEPLOYED DESIGNED TO DESTROY ALL WE ENJOY!

AND THEY’LL FIRST FIND A CHEAP APARTMENT OR HOUSE

AND THEN THEY WILL MOVE IN WITH THEIR CRIMINAL SPOUSE

THEN THEY’LL FIND A JOB FAST. A LOW WAGE JOB, BUT A JOB JUST THE SAME

THEY WILL PAY NO TAXES. THEY WILL HAVE NO ID, NO NAME

IT MAY TAKE TWO JOBS OR THREE FOR THOSE WILLING AND ABLE

TO EARN JUST ENOUGH TO PUT TORTILLAS ON THE TABLE

THEY WILL KEEP THEIR CULTURE AND KEEP SPEAKING SPANISH

TURNING RURAL AMERICA FROM WHITE TO MUCH TOO HISPANIC

AND THEN THEY’LL HAVE KIDS AND DEMAND EQUAL RIGHTS

THEY WILL DEMAND TO BE TREATED AS WELL AS THE WHITES

THEN THE IMMIGRANTS ONE AND ALL WILL SIT DOWN TO A FEAST!

A MEXICAN FEAST! AND THEY WILL EAT! EAT! EAT! 

THEY’LL EAT STREET TACOS AS THEY STAND UP ON THEIR FEET,

“STREET TACOS ARE A MEAL I CAN'T STAND IN THE LEAST!”

AND THEN THEY’LL DO SOMETHING I HATE MOST OF ALL

EVERY IMMIGRANT DOWN IN MEXICO THE TALL AND THE SMALL

THEY WILL STAND CLOSE TOGETHER WITH AMERICA IN SIGHT

AND SNEAK OVER THE BORDER USING THE COVER OF NIGHT

HOLA AMIGOS 

HOLA AMIGOS

WELCOME TO AMERICA

RIGHT THIS WAY

HOLA AMIGOS 

HOLA AMIGOS

WELCOME TO AMERICA 

IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAY

BETTER WAGES AND CLEAN WATER

BRING YOUR SONS AND BRING YOUR DAUGHTERS 

AMERICA IS WITHIN YOUR GRASP

A BETTER LIFE COULD BE YOURS AT LAST

AND THE MORE TRUMP THOUGHT OF THE AMERICAN DREAM

THE MORE TRUMP THOUGHT,” I MUST STOP THIS WHOLE THING”

“WHY FOR 172 YEARS AMERICA HAS PUT UP WITH IT NOW!”

“I MUST STOP THESE IMMIGRANTS FROM COMING, BUT HOW?”

THEN TRUMP GOT AN IDEA! AN AWFUL IDEA!

DONALD TRUMP GOT A WONDERFUL AWFUL IDEA!

“I KNOW JUST WHAT TO DO!” TRUMP LAUGHED TO HIMSELF

“I’LL BUILT A GREAT WALL WITH OR WITHOUT CONGRESS’ HELP” 

AND HE CHUCKLED AND CACKLED WHAT A BRILLIANT TRUMPY TRICK!

“I WILL HAVE MEXICO PAY FOR IT AND PAY FOR IT QUICK”

YOU’RE A MORON, MR. TRUMP. YOU HAVE NEVER MADE A DEAL

YOU ARE A NARCISSISTIC SOCIOPATH. WHO LIES, WHO CHEATS, WHO STEALS  MR. TRUMP!!!

 YOU ARE A THIEVING, CROOKED SCOUNDREL, WITH TOILET PAPER STUCK TO YOUR RIGHT HEEL! 

YOU’RE  A P***Y GRABBER, MR. TRUMP. YOUR HEART IS AN EMPTY HOLE.

STORMY SAYS YOU HAVE A MUSHROOM DICK. WITH A HEAD LIKE A HAIRY MOLE.

MR. TRUMP! I WOULDN’T F**K YOU WITH A THIRTY-NINE AND A HALF-FOOT POLE!

“ALL I NEED IS A CONFLICT.” TRUMP LOOKED AROUND

BUT SINCE CONFLICTS WERE SCARCE, THERE WERE NONE TO BE FOUND

DID THAT STOP TRUMP? HA! TRUMP SIMPLY SAID

“IF I CAN'T FIND A CONFLICT, THEN I’LL MANUFACTURE ONE INSTEAD”

SO HE TOOK TO TWITTER AND TWEETED WITH GREAT SPEED

THINGS THAT ONLY TRUMP SUPPORTERS COULD POSSIBLY BELIEVE 

AND THEN THE CONFLICT HAPPENED AND IT HAPPENED QUITE FAST

IN TIJUANA WHERE THE DHS BLASTED IMMIGRANTS WITH BURNING TEAR GAS

TRUMP THEN DIVERTED FUNDS FROM THE MILITARY'S WAR CHEST

AND HE BOARDED AIR FORCE ONE AND FLEW TO THE SOUTHWEST

TRUMP STAGED A PRESS CONFERENCE BESIDE A NICE RANDOM WALL

THEN HE BOASTED AND BRAGGED THAT HE ALONE HAD DONE IT ALL

QUICKLY AND EASILY JUST AS HE SAID HE WOULD DO

AND  HE WASN'T QUITE FINISHED BUT WHEN HE WAS THRU

A GREAT BORDER WALL WOULD CROSS EVERY VALLEY AND HILL

AND BEST OF ALL, TRUMP PROCLAIMED “ MEXICO WILL PICK UP THE BILL!”

THEN HE WENT ON FOX NEWS PRESIDENT DONALD J. TRUMP

AND TOLD THE NATION THAT MEXICO WAS NOTHING MORE THAN A DUMP

HE PRAISED THE DHS AGENTS FOR STOPPING THE ILLEGAL CARAVAN 

THEN HE ANSWERED A FEW QUESTIONS WITH A FEW ANSWERS THAT FEW COULD UNDERSTAND 

HE STOOD THERE AND GLOATED LYING FOR AN HOUR OR TWO

THEN HE LOGGED ONTO TWITTER TO SPREAD THE FAKE NEWS

WHERE COUNTLESS MILLIONS OF TRUMP SUPPORTERS WOULD FREELY BELIEVE

ANYTHING THEY WOULD READ  IN TRUMP'S TWITTER FEED

THEN HIS LIES WOULD TAKE ON A LIFE OF THEIR OWN

NO BAD HOMBRES WILL EVER CALL AMERICA THEIR HOME

NO CRIMINALS, NO RAPISTS, OR VIOLENT GANGS LIKE MS13

NO TERRORISTS. NO SMUGGLERS. NO GIANT SHIPMENTS OF WEED

AS HE STOKED THE FIRE OF LIES HE CALLED ALTERNATE FACTS

HE LASHED OUT AT HIS CRITICS WITH VILE TWITTER ATTACKS

YOU’RE A MANCHILD, MR. TRUMP. YOU HAVE ORANGE S**T ON YOUR FACE!

YOU HAVE THE UNFORTUNATE APPEARANCE OF AN AGING ORANGUTANG 

MR. TRUMP! GIVEN THE CHOICE BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU I’D F**K THE AGING ORANGUTANG!

YOU’RE A BLOWHARD, MR. TRUMP. YOU’RE THE KING OF ALL THE CHODES

YOUR HEAD’S A DEAD TOMATO SPLOTCHED WITH SLIMY YELLOW NODES

MR. TRUMP! YOU’RE A FAILED BUSINESSMAN, MOSCOW GOLDEN-SHOWERED, JACKASS WITH DUMBASS KIDS!

THEN HE CREPT BACK TO WASHINGTON WITH EFFORTLESS EASE

TO SEE THE EFFECT OF HIS  PRESS CONFERENCE, FAKE NEWS, AND TWITTERED TWEETS

WHAT HE SAW IN THE NEWS DID NOT SURPRISE HIM,  IT WAS JUST AS HE PLANNED

CONTROVERSY AND DIVISION WITH ENOUGH REACH TO REACH  EVERY AMERICAN

HE WOULD WIN REELECTION NOW IT SEEMED AS CERTAIN AS COULD BE

HIS CAMPAIGN PROMISES WERE KEPT PLAIN AS DAY FOR ALL TO SEE

THE MIGRANT KIDS IN CAGES STILL LOOKED BAD FOR THE OLD BLOATED PRIMA DONNA

IF ANY ONE ASKED HE WOULD PASS THE BLAME QUICKLY ALONG PUTTING IT ALL ON OBAMA!

BUT HE NEEDED A LIE AND SO HE THOUGHT ONE UP QUICK 

AFTER A MINUTE OR TWO TRUMP THOUGHT  “THIS WILL DO THE TRICK."

HE WOULD DECLARE A NATIONAL EMERGENCY CONCERNING THE SOUTHERN BORDER

AND DETAIN IMMIGRANTS BLAMING OBAMA'S POLICIES FOR THIS EXECUTIVE ORDER

ELEVEN MILLION MORE WOULD BE TARGETED FOR DEPORTATION

NOT ONLY THOSE AT THE BORDER BUT THOSE  FOUND ANYWHERE  ACROSS THE NATION

THE DETENTION CAMPS FILLED UP FAST BECOMING OVERCROWDED AND INHUMANE

BUT TRUMP KEPT FILLING THEM UP WITH FRESH DETAINEES JUST THE SAME

“THESE IMMIGRANTS SHOULD HAVE ENTERED THE COUNTRY THE LEGAL WAY”

“I AM ONLY ENFORCING THE LAWS CARRIED OVER FROM BARACK OBAMA’S DAY.”

AND THESE LIES FOOLED TRUMP'S BASE WHO LIKED WHAT THEY WERE SEEING

AND THESE LIES ANGERED THE LEFT WHO ONLY SAW POLITICAL SCHEMING   

AND AFTER THIS HAD GONE ON FOR A MONTH OR TWO

TRUMP THEN DECIDED TO ADD SOMETHING NEW

HE TWITTERED AND TWEETED, THE OLD ORANGE-FACED LIAR

HE STOKED THIS IMMIGRATION ISSUE LIKE A BUM STOKES A FIRE

AS CHILDREN WERE PUT IN CAGES AND THEIR PARENTS WERE DEPORTED

THE WHOLE WORLD WATCHED AS THIS SAD NEWS WAS REPORTED

 TRUMP SEPARATED FAMILIES AND SENT MANY BACK HOME

WHILE THEIR  CHILDREN WE KEPT IN CAGES ISOLATED AND ALONE

"WHO CARES ABOUT THESE IMMIGRANTS?" TRUMP SAID TO HIMSELF

"THEY MUST KNOW BY NOW THAT THEY WILL RECEIVE NO HELP

THEY WILL FIND NO ASYLUM IN AMERICA NO SAFE PLACE TO STAY

NO MATTER WHAT THEY MAY DO OR WHAT THEY MAY SAY

THIS WILL STUN AND SHOCK THEM FOR A MINUTE OR TWO 

THEN ALL THE IMMIGRANTS, WHEREVER THEY ARE WILL ALL CRY BOO! HOO! HOO!"

“THAT'S A SOUND.” TRUMP GRINNED ”THAT I SIMPLY MUST HEAR!"

HE PAUSED AND THEN TRUMP PUT A HAND TO HIS EAR

AND HE DID HEAR  A SOUND RISING FROM OLD MEXICO

IT STARTED IN LOW THEN IT STARTED TO GROW

BUT THIS SOUND WASN'T SAD!

WHY THIS SOUND SOUNDED QUITE GLAD!

A COURT HAD JUST RULED THAT EVERY IMMIGRANT DETAINED AT THE BORDER

WOULD BE SET FREE AFTER 20 DAYS BY A FEDERAL COURT ORDER

TRUMP HADN’T STOPPED THE IMMIGRANTS FROM COMING! THEY CAME! 

SOMEHOW OR ANOTHER THEY CAME JUST THE SAME!

AND DONALD TRUMP WITH HIS HEART COLD AS ICEY SNOW

STOOD PUZZLING AND PUZZLING."HOW COULD IT BE SO?”

"THEY CAME WITHOUT PAPERS OR  WATER OR FOOD.”

"SOME CAME LATE AT NIGHT WITH SOME WOMEN DRESSED AS DUDES."

HE PUZZLED AND PUZZLED UNTIL HIS PUZZLER WAS SORE

THEM TRUMP THOUGHT OF SOMETHING HE HADN'T BEFORE

MAYBE AMERICA HE THOUGHT SHOULD OPEN ITS DOORS

AS IT HAD DONE FOR HIS FAMILY NEARLY A CENTURY BEFORE.

AND THEN  WHAT HAPPENED , WELL IN AMERICA THEY SAY

THAT TRUMPS TINY C**K GREW THREE SIZES THAT DAY

AND THEN THE TRUE MEANING OF AMERICA CAME THRU

AND TRUMP HAD THE SWINGING DICK OF TEN TRUMPS PLUS TWO

AND NOW THAT HIS TIE WASN'T TIED QUITE SO TIGHT

HE FELT A BIT SMARTER BUT STILL WASN'T THAT BRIGHT

WITH A SMILE TO HIS SOUL AND A SMILE ON HIS LIPS

TRUMP SET THE IMMIGRANTS FREE DURING A SOLAR ECLIPSE.

THEN HE THOUGHT OF THE CAGED IMMIGRANT GIRLS AND BOYS 

HE THOUGHT OF THEIR PARENTS AND THEIR SINISTER PLOYS

THEN HE GAVE BACK THEIR DIRTY BACKPACKS AND EMPTY BAGS

HE GAVE BACK THEIR FILTHY BELONGINGS NOW TATTERED UP RAGS

HE GAVE EVERYTHING BACK AS HE RELEASED THEM ONE AND ALL 

AND HE, HE HIMSELF, DONALD TRUMP ABANDONDED HIS GREAT WALL

WELCOME IMMIGRANTS! YOU ARE ALL WELCOME HERE!

FROM ANYWHERE ON ANY DAY OF THE YEAR

AMERICA WELCOMES YOU AT LAST

START A NEW LIFE AND FORGET THE PAST

AMERICA'S DOORS ARE OPEN FROM SEA TO SEA

HOME OF THE BRAVE IN THE LAND OF THE FREE

WELCOME TO AMERICA, UNITED WE STAND

HEART IN HEART AND HAND IN HAND

 

 

Author's Note

Spanks.