Midnight Forage

Somewhere in the remote Rockies, a raging storm encapsules a large wooded area. Any guiding light that the moon bestowed is snuffed by dense rain clouds and groaning thunderheads.


Keith is an unlucky soul caught in this dark, damp, and dreary forest. An enthusiast of wild fungi, Keith saw the forecasted storm as an opportunity for prime harvesting. Keith had become engulfed in the forage as he wandered deeper and deeper into the woods, becoming completely and utterly lost.

 Absolutely drenched and effectively blind in the darkness, Keith summoned strength from his lifelong pal, Bobblegop - an old Yop™ container with a single googly eye on the lid.


While bobbing Bobblegop, in a squeeky voice Kieth says, “Remember Keith: you got through those jungle storms back in ‘Nam so you can get through this too!”.


Kieth ceased bobbing Bobblegop and replies, “D****t Bopsie you know I never fought in ‘Nam, but I get your poi-”.


Before he could finish, a roar in the distance silenced Keith. “Oooh that doesn’t sound good!”, exclaimed Bobblegop. “ZIP IT!”, scolded Keith.


Keith starts jogging in the opposite direction of the roar, travelling not dissimilar to a plinko puck as he bumps into trees not being able to see more than a few feet ahead.


Another piercing roar bellows, noticeably closer this time.


Startled and soaked, Keith slips on a slick root and falls prone. As Keith turns over to stand up, the wind whips around him like a localized wind tunnel as the surrounding tree branches shake violently.


A blinding spot light seemingly cuts through the trees as the branches in its path fail to make a shadow and the pouring rain fails to breach. Keith and Bobblegop begin to lift of the ground, suspended in the air.


“Remember Keith: you got through those supernatural abductions back in ‘Nam so you can get through this too!”, shrieks Bobblegop.


“D****t Bobsie you know I never fought in ‘Nam, but that gives me an idea!”, screams Keith.


Ever since Keith ate one of the unfamiliar mushrooms he found about an hour ago, his stomach had been bothering him. Keith summoned all of his remaining energy for a last-ditch effort.


“AGGHH!”, screams Keith as he clenches his teeth and pushes his GI tract with all of his strength.


“FFFP-TH-PPPP!”, bellows Keith’s bottom.


Keith’s gas cuts through the beam of light in a way the branches and rain could not. The light flickers, and Keith and Bobblegop suddenly submit back to the force of gravity and hit the ground like a sack of potatoes.