The Wriggles

Ace turned on the television. To his luck, it was already tuned to his favourite television program. A group of enthusiastic fellows bounded around the screen erupting in a melodic cheer,

“Toilet bowl, yummy, yummy!”, they sung.

“ACE! TURN THAT S**T OFF!”, roared Ace’s mom.

Ace’s growing fondness with “The Wriggles” - the bathroom-themed version of “The Wiggles” - was of great concern to Ace’s mother. 

“IF I HEAR ONE MORE STUPID POTTY WORD COMING OUT OF THAT TV, I WILL SUPSPEND YOUR BATHROOM PRIVILEDGES!”

Ace fumbled with the remote, desperately trying to change the channel as fast as he could. The bathroom was Ace’s absolute favourite thing - he could not lose this privilege. 

Click

“Phew!”, Ace sighed in relief.

But Ace could not contain himself. He let his mind wander.

Ace, a prisoner to his obsession with the bathroom, began imagining a full-fledged Wriggles festival. He hopped around from display to display gleaming with excitement. An entire festival crafted to Ace’s interests including Wriggles music echoing in the background - Ace could have mistaken this for heaven!

In his euphoric trance, Ace bounded around his living room exclaiming,

“OOH! OOH! Look at that plump pile of poop! Gee whiz, isn’t that something. Oh boy, a Turkish toilet! You really don’t see those very often. WOW! There is even a bedazzled bidet! That must be worth a butt-ton. And it’s right beside a formidable fountain of feces! Dang, they really thought of everything here…”

“Wait, there’s more!? Cool! The Hall of Hemorrhoids - I bet that’s a walking tour. What’s that? There’s a Dung Dungeon in the basement? Awesome! Ok, wow, there’s no way that there’s more. I’m satisfied. Get out of town! There’s another building across the road and it’s even shaped like a toilet!? It’s a lavatory laboratory! I can’t even fathom the amount of innovation that comes out of there.”

“ACE!!!!”

Ace’s mother stomped into the room; she was absolutely fuming. She could have been mistaken for a large red-faced troll at this point. Ace thought he even heard a low-pitched growl emanate from the being. 

“Well,”, Ace thought, “it can’t really get any worse than this. I might as well knock one item off the bucket list.”

Ace removed his pants with the grace of a ballerina, positioned himself in a squat that even a trained slav would be proud of, and proceeded to poop in the middle of the living room.