Frank and the Germans

Based on a true story, this is a family parable about a lost opportunity.

Frank sank into his chair and poured himself a glass of scotch. Another day. Four more cars, one wagon. It was his family’s job to sand, polish, shine -- until whatever damned contraption came under his care was as good as new. Or looked it, anyway.

When the two men in suits walked into his office, Frank sighed under his breath and put down his scotch. This was not one of his more social days. But when you were in business for yourself, you had to paste on a smile, whether it hurt or not.

“Good morning!” he said, flashing a grin. “What can I do for you gentlemen today?”

The man on the right cleared his throat.

“Good morning!” he said in a thick German accent. “I think that it is possible we can do something for you.”

“Oh?” Frank winced. He didn’t like that accent.

“Ja, ja,” said his shorter companion. “May we please have a few moments of your time?”

Frank’s face stiffened.

Outside the office, Jim and Peter were working on a green Cadillac. Their heads flew up when they heard Frank’s voice booming through the office walls.

“I don’t need your damn Kraut money! I fought you in two world wars. I want nothing to do with you now!”

Peter and his brother Jim watched, stunned, as the two German businessmen fled from the office, through the garage, and up the street. Frank followed them out of the office, shaking his fist.

“Hey, Dad, who were those two guys?” asked Peter.

“Some damn Krauts. They wanted me to sell their cars.”

“Yeah, they’re just walking into Badanai Motors,” said Jim, peering into the distance. “Hey, did you get their names?”

“Just the name of their company,” Frank said with a curl of his lip. He pronounced the name with all the contempt his patriotism could muster. “Volkswagen.”

Reviews

[gingergee]

Your words flow so effortlessly. This is interesting and easy to read. The little things, like Frank's glass of scotch and the description of the vehicles they worked on made the story personal. The first paragraph painted a complete picture of where Frank was and of what his world was like. The only thing I would change with it is replacing the 2nd use of the word 'scotch' with 'drink' or something like that.

The point of view shift from Frank's office to the men working on the green Cadillac was a little too abrupt for me. I wanted to stay in the office where things were about to get hot. By moving the story to the garage, it put a barrier up that left me wanting more. From this perspective, the exchange seemed watered down. Yes, they heard Frank yell, but it would have been much more powerful if you would have stayed with Frank.

The simple ending was perfect.

I can't wait to read more of your writing.

[alanwgraham]

This is the kind of story I like - well written but easy to read. Not as easy as it sounds! I also like your ending - it rings very true.
Well done.
Alan