Dead Yet AliveA Story by Ntandoyenkosi NgcoboJust Random Thoughts
Life is weird , it brings you close to someone in a way
that you just need them all the time , you need them more than the air you breathe, you need them more than your faith, you need them more than yourself. You love them. The very thought of them makes you happy. You feel they are your responsibility, as if the lord has sent you to be there for them. You feel it’s your responsibility to make them smile and be happy. The world might tell you that this is not correct but you know very well this is all you want, you know that you don't really care what the world has to say. World doesn't know you and the world doesn't know your lover. You are just mesmerized by the beauty of their eyes. You just love how your lover looks at you holds you, kisses you and tell you how much you mean to them. You are overwhelmed as you know this exactly what you feel; you silently lean towards their ear and whisper quietly "ditto". You feel that she was the part of the jigsaw puzzle which left you incomplete. You both were made for each other. When everything seems so perfect, you feel so grateful to the lord for at least giving you a perfect mate even though you dint get a perfect life. But here is the twist, god has got different plans for you.When things seem to have worked out for you all of a sudden your whole life is turned into turmoil. All of a sudden the person you loved so much is no longer there, gone forever never to come back “Dead”. Your perfect life is not so perfect any more. Nothing seems real, you don’t actually if you yourself are real at all. You look at things not thinking anything, you are hearing things without understanding because you are not listening you are just hearing. You feel empty and hollow. Nothing else has actually changed but you just can’t hold yourself together nothing seems correct everything seems to be where it shouldn't be. Their death leaves a massive hole in your heart, a hole so big that no amount of concrete could hold it together. Most people blame their sorrows on their karma of previous life. They curse the lord and just can’t seem to control their tears. You don’t know what’s true and what’s not; you don’t know what to believe in who to believe in anymore because you don’t believe yourself. Days are turned into weeks and weeks into months. The anguish you used to feel has reduced and is switched with numbness. You start thinking about what happened and you come with answers you realize that you still have them. They might not be physically present with you, for you but they are not dead they are always inside you. They are in your heartbeat, they are in the tears you shed, they are in the smiles you smile, they are in the dreams you dream. You wake up every morning remembering them, you tell yourself it’s a new day and you need to do well and be happy because that’s what they would want. Love is so wonderful distance cannot bind it, love can never be measured in miles its ones trust belief and everything on your mate. Your lover might be dead but they are always alive for you. Their love never dies. © 2014 Ntandoyenkosi Ngcobo |
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1 Review Added on August 8, 2014 Last Updated on August 8, 2014 Tags: love, life, heartbreak AuthorNtandoyenkosi NgcoboPiet Retief, South AfricaAboutCopyright © █║▌│█│║▌║││█║▌║▌║║ About Ntando..··♡ I am a writer, .. more..Writing
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