Regrets of an Addict

If today was my last day.
I only just realized, how much time I wasted away.
Time just flew by.
I cry, left wondering “why?”
And now it’s too late,
Today is the day I die.
If I only had one more day.
The things I would change.
The words I would say.
Apologies to make,
And forgiveness to ask.
Feelings never to be unmasked.
Your love I’ll keep,I am but so weak.
A wolf in the skin of a sheep.
Sinister the sound; feeling my heart pound.
I can taste it in my mouth.
I can only blame myself.
Nothing makes me happy,
Then I found wealth.
When I look in the mirror
I stare into eyes that aren’t there.
A penetrating emptiness leering right back.
Infinite sadness,comes out in madness.
This is my fault I guess…
Regrets of bets, debts, and love lost.
And this is the cost.
A price too great for one man to pay,
yet to spend your last minutes bargaining on your final
day,
sounds like something i would say…
So many choices set out in life;
who to be, how to be,
Well, what about me?
Can I choose my own destiny?
Decisions turned to disaster of which I am the master.
For too long I wished time would go faster,
So I could be older.
But, instead I grew colder then bolder.
Till the first time I hold her.
Come, rest your head on my shoulder.
I hope you never get older.
Why didn’t I stay sober?
Decisions turn to disaster for which I am the master,
over
and over.
No head to rest on my shoulder.
I grow colder, bolder and older.
Time goes by so fast,
Another empty glass.
Days to months, then years, they pass.
Name your price.
I swear i’ll pay.
don't leave me here to bargain this way,
On my final day.
What could have I done?
What should have I said?
doesn't matter now,
Im already dead.