Our Darkness

companion poem and expansion on "The Same".

I fear my darkness

Do you?

I think you fear your darkness too.

Some say it is not our darkness we really fear

But our light

But the light isn’t what causes us pain

It only causes embarrassment if shown at the wrong time

To the wrong people

I wish I could share all of my light with you

I wish our shared darkness didn’t taint it

I wish you’d share your darkness with me

So that I’d love it too

People say that you cannot really love what you fear

But I don’t think I’d fear your darkness

Would you fear mine?

I want to think, to hope, that you wouldn’t

But you seem to fear me all on my own

No darkness

No light

Just the shadow that you think you know

I miss the you i used to know

And the you that you’ve become

I wish the two were the same

Do you ever miss me?

Do you ever want to know everything that I haven’t told you?

Everything I want to say, but refuse to

I cannot share my darkness

Not when it will ruin whatever light

We still manage to share

I miss you

I want you to miss me

But you don’t

And you’d never say so if you did

I try not to torture myself by setting

My hopes so high

They always crash down around me

So I force myself back into that bubble

That little sphere on denial that I call happy

What’s outside hurts

What’s outside tells me that I still want you

That I want you to want me

Outside tells me that I’m hopelessly lost again

But this time, there is nothing to stop me from falling

Nothing but the fading past that is all to real

It was so long ago

It is the source of this darkness i fear

This darkness I hide

The darkness that was in love with you

The darkness that believed you might love me back

Until I realized you were pretending

Or were you?

I don’t know anymore

I’ll never know for sure

I won’t taint your light with my darkness

With this pain and doubt we don’t talk about anymore

Maybe someday

I’ll trust you enough again

To tell you

To tell you all I’ve held back.

Reviews

[Mauricio Montoya]

My friend when I read this I wonder who's to blame but there is two side of a coin, we have two choices good or bad the question is which side are you gives the answer.
Thank you for sharing.

[HopeJG]

Thank you for your thoughts.