A Break-up Monologue

A Break-up Monologue

A Story by Jaja Reigns

"Why is it necessary to have a proper closure when ending a relationship?"

"So you can heal emotionally and move forward with your life in a healthy manner."-Brian

"Because some people who don't get closure tend to overthink on it and it is the worst kind of feeling to have when ur attached to that person but they are moving on, its like feeling that ur still caring for someone who can throw u away anytime"-Julian

"To avoid awkward scenario if you happened to meet each other again" -Arlyn R.

"To avoid asking what if's and Why it ended up like that"-Yeng A.

"To close the case:)"- Vergilio I.

"Actually it depends on the person. Why u need proper closure if u already knew that person is more desperate than u. I'll just walk away and be happy in my own life".-Ate Joyce

"simply because you started it in a proper way"-Dana C.

"As respect to someone you will leave behind? But no one can give you the closure you want aside from yourself if you knew that it's over and his love for you is gone, wouldn't that be enough to consider as closure?"-Joan A.

"you can't undo what's already done, closure is not important, it can't answer your questions nor fix what's broken, for me, closure is for those who still hope"-Glenda M.

"that is the only way to find out what both of you lacked, why it didn't work, to forgive each other and to be able to move forward in a healthy way"-Marvin M.

"I think by means of closure, you will make it clear that the relationship is over and why. otherwise the partner will be confused about the situation and hurt because you didn't respect him enough".-Marcus

"To lessen the burden in your heart and mind, to avoid questioning yourself why it happened, to not feel any regrets that there's still a chance between the two of you"-Chrisse Anne P.

"Simply because just to aware of each other that they have limits. just to clarify things, it's hard not to have closure because you cannot think easily and properly, you will always wonder and ask yourself why what and how things went wrong".-Lorna T.

"When you decide to be connected with the other person, you are now responsible to give him a proper reason why you had to leave him. Because you built trust, loyalty, memories, and relationship together. It may not you or him who does the first move but both of you agree with certain feelings. Even the reason for the breakup is unacceptable or unreasonable, at least have the guts to stand and make a proper closure. He will be in pain, feel numb, forget, and eventually, do the process of moving on. And so, the person who was left behind will accept and will be thankful for the memories that have been treasured during that days.-Mimsy S.

�"�"�"-

A Woman's Point of View

I mentally rolled my eyes when I saw his post on social media. So, this is his fifth girl after we ended, huh?

Funny thing is, we broke up exactly one year ago. Typical playboy, right? This guy threw our 3 years relationship and replaced it like a blink of an eye.

I remember the night when I decided to end everything. It was painful to me, I cried a lot, but i stopped myself from going back and taking back the decisions I made because I knew, it was the right thing to do for the both of us. 
We kept hurting each other's feelings over and over and I can't handle it, the emotional pain he made me experienced, the sleepless night, questioning my worth, and the feeling that I should always live up to his expectation and change myself to please him. Remembering those times made my blood boil.

I shook my head and continue scrolling but I stopped along the way when I saw another post of him, "how could he moved on that fast?" I asked myself as the tears fell from my eyes

He was the love of my life, I did everything to keep what we had but things stopped working between us. It was toxic that I couldn't breathe anymore.

He cheated many times, he got friendly with other girls yet he doesn't want me to befriend other guys, he stopped understanding me,  no, he never understands me. This guy made me beg for his attention and I pitied myself for going so low just to be loved.

Our first two years are happy and fun but when he graduated from college, Everything's changed. He's busy with things, with colleagues, to the point that we barely see each other in a month.

One time, I decided to wait for him outside their office, I was planning to surprise him but I'm the one who got surprised and shattered. He's with a girl, his workmate, they seem pretty close while talking to each other happy that he didn't even notice that I called his phone.

I bit my lips hard enough just to suppressed my tears. I immediately walked away with a heavy heart. Never mind the taste of blood in my mouth.

I started to avoid him, ignored his texts, calls, I don't even bother confronting him because for sure, he'll make an alibi.

I promised myself that after that, I will never go back. But my heart never listens, we got back together. I tried to be involved with everything, but it seems like he doesn't even care nor willing to let me be involved in his life any longer.

For the past months, we kept fighting and exchanging hurtful words, I cannot take it anymore, I snapped and broke up with him, again.

He begged me to stay, and guess what? I stayed. I guess that's how true love works, You will always go back to the person who only caused pain. Such a masochist, indeed.

We continued what we had but jealousy got the best of me, Foundation of trust was long gone and all I can do was to reminisce the times when he's all mine.

We lived in the same house, the funny thing is we never talked nor have the strength to face each other.

After taking space for a couple of weeks, he decided to talk to me and end our relationship in a 10minutes talk. He said that it will be good for me because he only brought pain in my heart and mind, that I deserve much better, but little did he know, he's all I want.

Before, I begged a lot but, that time, I stopped begging. I just accept it wholeheartedly. Maybe I'm tired, It pains me that he came up with this decision, that maybe, maybe I was really hard to handle, that I wasn't enough, that he stopped loving me.

I left him in the middle of the park, I cried and walked and walked with nowhere to go.

How did we end up like this?
That the person who once brought a smile to my face now brought sorrow and pain? How can someone's love change that fast? Am I replaceable? am I?
That was the worst and most heart-breaking 10 minutes of my life. That day, we ended. Permanently.

Up until now, we never had the closure we deserve. After everything he put me through, I think it will be hard for me to make peace, to move on, to accept everything.

Since the day we called it quits, I never found anyone who can replace him. He's still the person I love despite the pain and heartbreaks he brought me, but this time, I'm not running back to him. I will continue loving him silently until my heart gets tired.

�"�"�"-

A Man's Point of View

"A*****e!", she let out a barbaric yawp and thwacked me with her purse.

"Well, there goes another one", I lit up a cigarette, closed my eyes, and listened to the perfectly measured clatter of her high heels and occasional swearing that grew fainter and fainter with every hasty step.

"No attachment - no tears", I mumbled to myself and exhaled the smoke.

I've always tried to take everything I could from life. Always. But my days in college felt like torture. I felt like a bird trapped in a small cage with no room to spread my wings.

But there was one thing... one person who kept me going throughout those years -

Grace.

She was funny and kind. When I was with her even the most mundane things felt like a roller coaster: our absurd laughs and long hugs, pizza nights with cheap wine, and a few close friends. Life was great for almost two years. I felt like that was it, I have found the one.

Except...

I couldn't get rid of the feeling that something was missing. It wasn't about her, she was perfect.

The laughs were quieter, the hugs shorter, even the pizza didn't taste good anymore.

Taste.

It felt like I had lost the taste for life. There was no flavor. No spice.

I graduated and got hired by some local company to do paperwork.

Things got worse.

I lost interest in everything, including Grace. I loved her but I couldn't even force myself to say kind words to her. I don't know, maybe I'm stupid that way. I just couldn't do it.

I went to work every day and it drained me. I got more irritated. That led to constant fights at home. I felt jealous that she might find a better guy. Ha, at some point I even hoped that she would find someone and then dump me because it would be easier that way. I couldn't stand the spark in her eyes, that love and hope that I couldn't fulfill. It felt like a debt I would never be able to repay.

One day Sarah, my coworker, brought a bottle of whiskey to celebrate her engagement. It didn't take long for us to finish it.

We were drunk and alone - very good circumstances for very bad consequences.

We did it on my desk and then decided to go to a bar to continue our little celebration.

Grace found out. She was smart enough to know when something was wrong. Pretty sure she saw me too. I had no excuse but I tried to bullshit my way out. She didn't believe me but forgave me anyway.

I felt like s**t for treating her like that. I swore to her, and myself, that it would never happen again.

But it did happen again. It happened many times.

Lust rekindled my love for life. It's a bad excuse, I know. There's probably no rational explanation for this and I'm just an a*****e.

Grace suffered and it was my fault - this I know for sure. I didn't want to break it off with her but I didn't really know how to fix things either. I could only beg her to stay. It was too much to ask of anyone, but she stayed... and... she suffered.

One day I heard her crying; silently sobbing in the bathroom with the tap running so that I couldn't hear her pain. I knew she wouldn't be happy with me by her side, and I think she knew it too.

I broke it off the next day and never saw her again.

I hope she's doing okay.

*****

Dedicated to ElliotGhastly . Thanks for helping me out❤️

© 2020 Jaja Reigns


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Added on December 21, 2020
Last Updated on December 21, 2020

Author

Jaja Reigns
Jaja Reigns

Pasig, NCR, Philippines



About
23 years old writer. The first poem I wrote was for my father who died. I decided to write what I feel. I just write the words that came from my mind. I can’t believe that it becomes an art, a.. more..

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