The sky's face

Something quick I whipped up for school

That light which once lit up her face

Is gone, she's darkened now

 

Covering her million sparkling eyes, the moisture starts to build

She'll hold on until it grows to heavy

 

When at last her strength is gone,

Her tears come gently down 

 

They fall onto my shoulders

And in her tears, I hide my own

Reviews

[FemmeSpookyCorpse]

This is beautiful! It has a way of capturing the reader. Who knows, it could be the wonderful presentation of the sequence of events, or the very vivid pictures, or the perfect word choice used to describe the situation. Why don't we just go ahead and say it was all three? Ha ha = ] Fantastic job...I loved it!

[Daffy Lello]

Beautiful words and I love the way you mingled 'her' tears with your own. Wonderful imagery. love it.

[safiredoll]

very nice, very powerful

[Jeff Bresee]

Again, you capture my own feelings. One of the poems I wrote long ago ends with words that are always on my mind:

They tears I cry
And hold within
Will forever be
The tears for him

[Mai Aliza]

This is amazing, especially the strong ending.

[LeeLee Ryder]

The opening lines are luminous and the 2nd lines are visionary...
The last lines sow this poem up with a superb sympatico ending,
I can fully relate to.
Thanx for sharing.. NYCD..
LeeLee

[Bobbiegirl]

oh I agree with mystic soul, your last two lines are very good. They are very telling of your emotions, and that makes for wonderful writing. My husband does a pirate radio poet show in the town where I live with LEE LEE Ryder, I would love to read this next week on the air with your permission.

[mystic soul]

wonderful... i really liked it... although it's short but your intense emotions are clearly visible... the one that i feel like mentioning ..is your ending line.. i really loved the way ended it.... good one...