Why should I be not famous

Dedicated to VS and the life I live in dreams with her...

Visions, those kinds that are day dream like,
are now blurred by reality
You have put on a serious face,
a formal dress
I feel strangely detached but aroused until
you come to me with your regular smile
and I feel like telling
"I have lots to talk"
But we don't.

When the evening falls
you hardly realize that in my mind
I trace you
after you have left
and forgotten of the day's dynamics.

I like this anonymity
obscuring myself in a sea of thoughts
and a world of relentless actions
I still know myself and my inner workings.
People don't
People like you don't.

Of course, tomorrow there is no guarantee that I would
read to you lines from the love song of Alfred J Prufrock
and you would listen in wonder.
There is not even enough guarantee that you still won't find
those men attractive who find you
Just because we hadn't 'officially met'
a year and half ago
and even now hadn't become unofficial.

My life if you want to look at it
Is a bunch of hideousness
I create my own stress
live encircled by it and never come out.
Calling it days has not helped, at all.

Nobody knows what keeps me
from wearing formal shirt and pants
attending sessions where people would like to hire me
and post employment, you and I could sit over coffee
discuss our future town, home
I would come to know of your pet peeves
,your mysteriously single life
and genetic reasons for such long slender legs
You would understand a man beyond silence
beyond promising smile
possible of uncompromising love but once.

One of the reasons life never took off
is maybe it never meant to be
After all with all the highest probabilities of dying affections
post reconnaissance and initial lovemaking
scares the gut out of progressive steps.

Instead I don't tell you anything
and keep smiling at you
and you keep on expecting
and one day,
get the hell out
without ever
even telling me.


© Nothing Personal. Sep 15, 2011.

Reviews

[Mary C]

Beautifully crafted

[africa]

Very heavy and gloomy in an excellent way. Great stuff.

[...]

. who is VS ? ... (i forgot to subscribe to your writing in my new profile, hence missed this) ...

[.]

that is intense...a love poem...or not..a lament..there is an element of longing, wishing...sadness..really liked this.

[Emily B]

it's more than I can take in this morning, that just means I'll have to come back to it on another day when I'm feeling taller