Serendipity

Serendipity

A Poem by Nothing Personal
"

I meet women by chance, they happen to miss me by chance, the universe apparently was a chance game, What's the big deal?

"

If the world runs faster than the giraffe
Then I run slower than your pet tortoise
Because you told me to wait by the coffee shop
And pour hot coffee in a large cup till you arrive
With your brown, bumpy hair and watch the coffee
Pour down from table tops to wild basements
As you smell of baby cream and shabby husbands
And pretty much deserve a kiss and affection
By someone just like me
Instead you ask me to sit and look at me kindly
And tell me with your eyes whose color I failed to notice
When my senses prioritized
That it can be done and oh so done
Easily as ever and some free advice
But I don't listen as I travel with you
To your comfort zone
A place called home
Where you have kids with auburn hair
And that husband I mentioned earlier.
You tell me that all men shouldn't make love
Some can just smell and some others can barely make eye contact
Connect within hearts at corners of offices
Where they first met.
I hate it when instead you say thanks and greet me
Making it clear that it's over between you & me
The rendezvous ends disastrously
As I come down tracing my every step
Through long winding stairs
With some random curly hairs running all over
I still think of you even though you forget
And smile at the next eyes that set up on you
But never understand what a young dreamer could
Give you on moonlit nights or even sunlit ones
As long as you accept invitations sent from mind
Wear a lovely, long brown dress that match your hair
Smell more of baby cream and maybe some lady perfume
Keep your hair open
And have dinner
In a secluded downtown restaurant
Only with me.

© Nothing Personal. January 30, 2011.

© 2011 Nothing Personal


Author's Note

Nothing Personal
An impersonal poem :-) :-) My obsession with hair blurts out blatantly as with coffee ;-) Is it romantic?

My Review

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Featured Review

I think the only thing I would change about this one is the format of the lines- as one big chunk of text, I found it a bit hard to maneuver. But as far as the content, it was really nice. The wording in some places might be a little awkward, but overall it was solid.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Ha3 Ha3, nice description. And yes your obsession with hair is as strong and obvious as my obsession with eye colors and expressions. Your first two lines were strange and therfore very attractive, I interpret this as a one-sided romance, and a nice roundabout way to ask a woman out. You have a special way of writing. I enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing. :)

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Nice flow, and kinda romantic. The imagery is so vivid, it's really beautiful!

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

hmm, romantic? I'd call it electric, playing with Tesla arcs..... stream of consciousness pieces and impressionistic pieces are sometimes very hard to connect with, mainly due to hugely disconnected arcs... but this poem is different, it IS connected, it absorbs everything, it's a dizzy stirring of the coffee and obsessive focus thrust upon the story that makes it enticing to read. If you're a fan of abstract art and all that that entails, then this is a piece for you. Excellent flow, rush of thoughts adds to the scene. Indelible.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A unique poem of love found and lost and of a time of memories written only in the past as something that could have been. At least that's what I got. I think this poem is a beautiful piece. I love lines 8-9:
"And pretty much deserve a kiss and affection
By someone just like me"
This is stated after all the struggle, 'you' have on through with her love life.
And the references to hair, I think I could understand. When a woman leaves her hair down, it represents youth and the world as she knows it, and when she puts up her hair, it represents growth and wisdom, just like those woman in olden days, I guess. But it's probably just my thinking.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

is this so beautifully written:)

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This was an intriguing write, I was sucked in and ready to know more. Lovely piece, I quite enjoyed it ;)

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

"Give you on Moonlit nights or even sunlit ones."
Totally awesome line there.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I like this poem. The scene is painted vividly and it makes your heart ache for the narrator of the story.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is a cool piece. You merged two of your faves and the
obsession is pretty normal. Really romantic.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

yes, the flow changes at the end. Was it intended? I really like this, you did great.

Posted 13 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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41 Reviews
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Added on January 30, 2011
Last Updated on January 30, 2011

Author

Nothing Personal
Nothing Personal

TX



About
Hi !! I don't fuss too much about sharing a name or an identity. I came across this website and found it to be an interesting niche for writers without distinctive labels. It is a great place to befri.. more..

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