Redemption

Redeeming...

Can I steal the tag of your New Year album?
Can I steal the smile on your face?
Can I steal the warmth of your hug when it snows?
Can I steal you again pretty face?

I am sorry her face was cream and chocolate
I am sorry her hair was milky brown
I am sorry she brought an early winter
I am sorry I took her to (your) bed.

We stood there when fast trains breezed by
We stood there to the song you never sung
We stood there to make unpromised promises
We stood there for our very first touch.

You were lost in pensive thought
You were lost in desirous hope
You were lost when I had looked away
You were lost when I had looked back.

I moved where the storm took me
I moved where the ostrich cried
I moved where order took me
I moved where you couldn’t pry.

I will search lost mountains
I will seek deep seas
I will traverse rugged landscape
(Where) I will hide with thee.

Put behind the dark, old alleys
Put behind the wrong, suave men
Put behind your false, pretentious smile
Put behind your impetuous fame.

Come where the river meets the ocean
Come where the sky kisses the sea
Come where expansive lovers unite
Come where I will find thee.

Can you close your eyes?
Can you ripen your wings?
Can you come close to me?
Can you kiss my lips?

Can I steal the tag of your New Year album?
Can I steal the smile on your face?
Can I steal the warmth of your hug when it snows?
Can I steal you again pretty face?

© Nothing Personal. January 03, 2011.

Reviews

[MuSe Ampoule]

In times of new years and resolutions so often we try to create new rather than rekindle old...for though love is lost...hope may be eternal. doesn't hurt to ask...right? For those who shamed themselves with indiscretions and taken responsibility sincerely...perhaps there is hope yet....
great pensive write and I loved the form with this.

[SOUL LESS]

vnh. It really is redemption.

[Crowley]

I found myself liking the form more and more as I moved along, it lends itself to a cadence that is quite catchy. Love this.

[KAREN]

Solid write! Beautiful and full of love!

[Deactivated_BurningDemo..]

This is so touching and sweet. Don't want to say any more, it will ruin the poem.

[sarah]

aww I love this poem! great job!

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

This was like 1000 fists to the gut.
You drag the emotion out of the reader
in the most relentless way.

This poem is one of the many reasons that
TV imo is really taking a beating from WC
in terms of entertainment.

[Kelsie Eileen Stark]

Beautiful!

[absolutefolie]

Wow. Just, wow. I would write more, but I don't want to spoil your poem with my cliches. Well done, this is fantastic!

[Theodore]

nothing you can say it's perfect

[Arsenic Nemesis]

The style of this is brilliant and original indeed - so well set out and craftily written! I love also how it begins with questions and also ends with them too, very good indeed. I love it, keep it up~