Redemption

Redeeming...

Can I steal the tag of your New Year album?
Can I steal the smile on your face?
Can I steal the warmth of your hug when it snows?
Can I steal you again pretty face?

I am sorry her face was cream and chocolate
I am sorry her hair was milky brown
I am sorry she brought an early winter
I am sorry I took her to (your) bed.

We stood there when fast trains breezed by
We stood there to the song you never sung
We stood there to make unpromised promises
We stood there for our very first touch.

You were lost in pensive thought
You were lost in desirous hope
You were lost when I had looked away
You were lost when I had looked back.

I moved where the storm took me
I moved where the ostrich cried
I moved where order took me
I moved where you couldn’t pry.

I will search lost mountains
I will seek deep seas
I will traverse rugged landscape
(Where) I will hide with thee.

Put behind the dark, old alleys
Put behind the wrong, suave men
Put behind your false, pretentious smile
Put behind your impetuous fame.

Come where the river meets the ocean
Come where the sky kisses the sea
Come where expansive lovers unite
Come where I will find thee.

Can you close your eyes?
Can you ripen your wings?
Can you come close to me?
Can you kiss my lips?

Can I steal the tag of your New Year album?
Can I steal the smile on your face?
Can I steal the warmth of your hug when it snows?
Can I steal you again pretty face?

© Nothing Personal. January 03, 2011.

Reviews

[MuSe Ampoule]

In times of new years and resolutions so often we try to create new rather than rekindle old...for though love is lost...hope may be eternal. doesn't hurt to ask...right? For those who shamed themselves with indiscretions and taken responsibility sincerely...perhaps there is hope yet....
great pensive write and I loved the form with this.

[Ice QueenJen]

interesting writing and very profound at some points

[YouoweYoupay]

That was catchy, no cleverly pinned actually. The first lines pulled me in. I can interpret deceit and lust and wanting what is not yours. I can sense seizing opportunities even if they lasted very briefly. I can sense a deep connection between lovers that surpasses a time of years and some mountain peaks. The repetition and persistence of the narrator made this poem stronger. Thank you for sharing.

-youoweyoupay

[Amy]

i like the repetition in this poem I also love the way you have repeated the first stanza. all in all I realy enjoyed this poem

[Catonia06]

it's so good

[Launa'sWrite]

the repetition in this poem makes it very powerful... seems like it could be a song even! Like the I, We, you, can you, can i.. harkens the feel of relationships. Nice romantic lines, imbued with emotional nuances that triggure my own emotions.. very powerful poem... still working out its meaning however. Well, it's clear to me that there was some infidelity, and you explained how and why it happened to a degree... I feel like the "unfaithful yet faithful to his or her own existence partner" may have wanted the lover/partner to move past the incident but i believe the problem is still there despite probably earnest desires to rekindle the love. My interpretation as of now! probably just my projections.. hehee

[trainwreck]

Very well-developed, and I love your thoughtful arrangment. The repeat of the first stanza brings the beginning more context. Absolutely wonderful. Its another story painted gray, maybe streaked with pink or some other bright color. Again, fabulous write.

[Richard Williams]

The redemptive sincerity apparent and true. Memorable, "Can I steal the warmth of your hug when it snow?" Very nice.

[Moflo]

I definitely like this a lot. Very telling and relatable emotions coming out of this poem, I think it came out excellent.

[Jeff]

Can you close your eyes?
Can you ripen your wings?
Can you come close to me?
Can you kiss my lips?

I like this stanza!