A November Night Part I

Nothing new but i want to write on this...

They came by boats
Or so it seemed,
The waves of the gray, black sea
Tossed and turned in uneasy restlessness.
Foams of salts and sin washed their feet
The scared moon hid behind the sun.


Steel, gray metal in their hands
Glimmered through the pitch, dark night;
Silence and Darkness is always creepy,
A few good men gave them a warm welcome;

Hungry is the Devil on nights like that
Insatiable Lust for lives & blood;
Innocents waiting to be butchered;
As God drew his curtains back;

They ordered Kebabs mostly
And a few chilled beers;
Some gave disturbing, dirty looks
While some others trembled in fear.

Flashback

God serves those who serves him
And serves his holy cause;
Mujahideen is the pathway to heaven
Or else HELL wait for you damned cursed.

But Ahmed thought
"I am just a small kid
I have just learned to play
This metal gun is too heavy for me
Why can't i stray away?"

"Oh you foolish boy,
When did you last see your father?
If you want to see his smiling face
Then don't waste your time hither"



© Nothing Personal. November 25, 2010.

Author's Note

On 11/26/2008.

Reviews

[Ice QueenJen]

A very different kind of poem, first I thought it was about being at sea. Then as you brought in God, it became a very different one. I also like how you brought out how the Taliban train them from young ones.
I think this line "The waves of the gray, black sea" would sound better if you changed the word 'the' to ' a '. As if you were looking at it from a distance or memory.

But overall a nice writing!

[KATHY SUE SILLS]

You brought out good points in this poem, well written!

[Amberlilly]

Great poem, very descriptive!

[Kelsie Eileen Stark]

Great poem, although sad- it was amazing

[JanieB]

Really good job. Well written.

[sarah]

Amazing work! really touched me it's supper sad but wonderful!

[just take a breath]

this poem is sad, but true

my favorite line is
Silence and Darkness is always creepy,
because it is...

nice write :)

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

It's just depressing how we as human beings and a society can pervert
the minds of innocent children and destroy their innocence.

[HopelesslyDevoted]

this is poetically complex in so many way! fantastic job!

[Amanda]

I'm not very good with free verse, so I find it difficult to understand. If we're speaking in terms of narrative, however, I thought it was very good. It flowed beautifully.