The Final Wish

This..... This is it. My final words. The end of a life. I'm certain, yet still..... I hesitate.... Yet again. I can't help but look back. Look at all the times I tried to stop time, stop things, all the times I hesitated, and all I can see is failure. Failure to realize what was really important, to realize what I should have done.

And I'm sick of it. I'm sick of sitting around, waiting for things to happen, waiting for God to show me the way, for some higher power to show me why I'm here. So I'm turning the page. Because I still can. My story isn't done. I haven't closed the book yet. There's so much to still be done. Hell, I still have things I need to do, to say.

But I start with goodbye. I'm saying goodbye to the person who sat back and let things happen around him, intervening when it was convenient or easy. I'm saying goodbye to the person who was a bully once, who was bullied once or twice. I'm saying goodbye to the person who decided not to stand up and choose where the hell he wanted to go. And I say goodbye the boy who lived his his mother's shadow, letting her dictate his every move, thought and word.

I wish I could go back and fix all my mistakes.. And who doesn't? We all have things we want to change that we did. We all have things we wish we could change for the sake of people we love. But we can't. And never will we be able to. But we can try to improve their lives going forward. And that starts with us.

I just wish I'd learned this sooner. Maybe it could have kept two hearts from being destroyed.