The YOLO Fair

A Story by Austin

It's a regular day at the YOLO Fair in the United States, and Richard, his little brother and his friends are all excited to spend the day there, for as the saying goes, "you only live once!"

At first, everyone thought that having a fair on an entire mountain would consist of too much walking around; once ski-lift pods were built, and set up to go around the entire mountain, people flocked to it. It had many different thrills, both for casual people and risktakers, as they were deemed�"the majority of those that went to the fair. The best part of it was that airfare to the fair was free; the federal government was taking care of all expenses in order to attract as many people there as possible. Everyone figured it was because they were competing with many other nations of the world, to see who had the wildest fair and the bravest people.

One fairgoer, named Richard was currently riding a lift to the top, accompanied by his younger brother, his girlfriend, and three friends. At this moment, his younger brother Damien was looking out the window, his face and hands pressed against the glass.

“Cool,” Damien said as he observed a cliffdiver splat on the floor. The others looked out and exchanged giggles.

“That’s what you get for picking a bad parachute,” Evan remarked with a snide tone.

“Yeah,” Rich said, following the cleanup until they rose out of its sight. “That won’t happen to us.” He turned and sat back down.

Damien followed him and climbed next to him. “Are we going to jump off a cliff, too?”

The older five looked at each other, waiting for someone to answer. Finally, Jarrett�"Rich’s best friend�"clapped his hands and said, “Probably. We’ve got a lot of time before we have to leave, and we have a lot of things to do. I’m sure we’ll get to it eventually.”

Damien turned to Rich. “Are you going to jump?”

Rich nodded. “Of course. What do you think this is? Of course we’re going to jump.”

“Yeah,” Eva�"Rich’s girlfriend�"said, sitting down on Rich’s lap. “There aren’t any chickens here, right?”

Jarrett jumped up and down in an athletic fashion, causing the lift to bounce and shake and groan. Jacqueline�"Eva’s best friend�"squealed and grabbed onto a seat. “F**k no, we’re not chickens! Everyone’s gonna do everything here, because no one here’s a chicken!” He leaned in towards Jacqueline. “Right?”

She rose, giggling. “Right.”

Evan�"mutual friend of Richard and Eva�"rose to his feet. “Of course we’re all going to do it. We wouldn’t have come here otherwise, dimwit.”

Jarrett blew a raspberry and turned to face the mountain’s peak. “Man, this is gonna be a good day.”

Damien looked out as well, then down, then to Richard. “We’re really high up. We’re not gonna get hurt, are we?”

At this, everyone laughed.

“Really, kid?” Richard gave Damien a noogie. “I didn’t bring you here to be a p***y. I brought you here to have fun!”

“Yeah!” Eva patted him on the shoulder. “Besides, you only live once�"“

Everyone save Damien joined in on the motto. “�"And f**k everything else!”

Meanwhile, in another room, many different people watched monitors of the fair, as well as statistics on monitors besides it. Hanging above the dark crowded room was a counter that was counting down in spurts. The last three digits of the number were one-two-one, so everyone was on their toes and in the zone.

“Who do you think’s gonna do it?” Steve asked.

“Us,” Alistair replied with his trademark monotone.

“What about Japan?” Steve continued, suspense straining his voice. “And Russia? Germany? Britain? China? I even hear India’s getting in on this whole thing!”

“That’s not our problem.” Alistair saw the counter go down to one-two-zero, and sighed. “As close as we are, this is the day that Fortune smiles on the world.”

Steve left him alone as he watched five teenagers and a kid leave the lift at the top of the mountain, and the tallest of them immediately bounded towards the shop. “Oh, it looks like we’ve got some pumped-up kids here.” He watched as the tall one and another teen, one that came up to the tall one’s shoulders and was holding a child by the hand, stood next to him; a close look revealed the shorter teen raising his stature and casting glances between the tall one and the shop owner. “It looks like that one’s a bit jealous of the other one.”

“You mean Rich and Jared?” Alistair asked nonchalantly, unintentionally mispronouncing a name. “Yeah, looks like it.”

After a few minutes of watching them, the six people got into separate sleds�"even the kid�"and they raced off at breakneck speeds through trees and such. The two men soon had to switch to the rest of the park. Things were still going slow; only the occasional failed parachute or crashed bike broke the monotony of today. It was ironic for them; on such a momentous occasion, everyone was living.

The scoreboard reached one-zero-zero, and everyone was in a frenzy. The two men switched to watching the kids as Rich and “Jared” raced head to head. The two were so fixed on the race that they didn’t notice someone crash uphill. A thermal camera showed a fading head signature.

“Well, there goes one of them.” By now, the entire room was engaged on Rich and “Jared’s” race. They reached the end of the snowy path and skidded to a halt on rocks, with “Jared” stopping furthest. The room clapped for them.

“Yeah, they’ll be drawing a lot of attention today,” Alistair commented as the rest of the group joined them and went on their way.

“Evan crashed pretty hard,” Jacqueline quietly said from behind them. “You should’ve seen it. It was like, CRACK! and his head instantly split open.”

Jarrett laughed. “That’s what he gets for not watching where he was going!”

Rich was trailing behind them, with his hands in his pockets. “But who couldn’t watch what we were doing?”

Jarrett howled with laughter and mirth. “Damn right! We were awesome!”

Damien took his thumb out of his mouth and asked if Evan would join them downhill.

“Evan’s dead,” Eva told him bluntly.

It took a while for it to sink into his head, but once it did, Damien began tearing up. Jacqueline saw this and rushed to his aid.

“Don’t cry, baby,” she said to him. “There’s nothing we can do about it now. He had his fun, and now he’s in Heaven.” The other three sniggered. “Look, how about we go and get some ice cream and�"“

“Look, kid,” Jarrett began with the air of a man who doesn’t deal with petty business. “this is life, okay? Bad things happen! But you only live once�"“

“�"And f**k everything else!” An entire crowd joined him, and then whooped and hollered along their activities.

And so the group of five continued onwards, passing many adrenaline-fueled fairgoers and attractions, and leaving Evan firmly behind them. Damien was still sad by it, but an ice-cream cone and a quick trip cliff-diving made him forget all of his troubles and join his friends in reverie. They were going further down the mountain, so the weather was becoming warmer. More lifts and people were going up the mountain, leaving much of the base of it free.

All the time they went down, Rich couldn’t help but remain silent. How could he talk, when he had thoroughly lost a race against Jarrett? Sure, it had been a nice warm-up to get the heart racing, but he felt his pride wounded. Jarrett, for what it was worth, just sat there with his arms behind his head, restlessly waiting for the next attraction.

They didn’t go far down until they passed a cliff face that they all got the same feeling. Jarrett jumped out of his seat and halted the lift where it stood. “Alright, guys, let’s get out and go rock climbing!” There was some hesitation among the others, but a quick declaration of their motto called them all along. Even Damien approached the rock climbing attraction with excitement.

“Those kids are approaching the rock climbing,” Steve said. “Jared” ran up to it, watching two climbers reach the top and yell at them. There was one at the bottom of the cliff preparing himself to climb up.

Alistair stretched out and looked up at the counter: seven-eight. “We’re getting close.”

Steve turned to him in surprise; this was one of the rare times Alistair’s voice portrayed interest in the matter. “Yeah, we are. It’s a good thing we have a lot of people here today, even if they’re all surviving the attractions.”

Suddenly, the numbers on the counter shifted to two-one; apparently, a plane crash in Brussels had sped things along. Steve jumped in his seat, and Alistair’s hands travelled to his forehead. A quick look at international YOLO-Fair monitors showed people abandoning safety protocols in droves.

“Everyone one the planet’s gonna try and get it to tip.” Alistair reached for his walkie-talkie. “Pierre!”

“Yea, boss?”

“Get as many people to abandon ropes as you can. We’re on the precipice.”

“Yea, I’ll go without?”

“Yeah, do that.” The conversation ended.

Steve rubbed his hands together with nervousness. “But won’t that put Pierre at risk?”

“Nah,” Alistair said. “He’s a professional rock climber.”

“This is my first time climbing,” a man with a slight French accent told Richard and Jarrett as they retrieved their cleats and harnesses. “I am Pierre.”

“Nice to meet you, Pierre,” Jarrett said, clapping him on the back. “Hey, this is gonna be fun. You only live once, you know!”

“Woohoo!” Eva cried out, throwing her arms in the air. The few spectators that were there whooped as well.

“It looks really high,” Damien said, his voice shaking.

“Yeah, it does.” Jacqueline was visibly nervous.

“Oh, come on, you pansies!” Richard yelled. “This is what living’s all about! Taking risks and living fast!”

“Hell yeah!” Jarrett wrapped a harness around him. The others did the same, but Pierre tossed his aside.

“You know what? You only live once, so I’ll go without anything.”

Damien’s eyes bugged. “But won’t you get hurt?”

“Maybe.” His tone seemed almost chiding. “But hey, I’m not a chicken, and you only live once, right?”

This caused the group to stop their assembling. Then Jarrett threw his rope on the ground.
“I’m not chicken, either. I’m gonna go it alone too!” The operators of the rock-climbing attraction didn’t try and stop them.”

Richard and Eva both did the same; Damien and Jacqueline kept theirs on. “Damn right we’re not chicken! You know who lives safe?” he asked as if he was about to lay down some wisdom. “Old people and nerds and�"“

“�"farmers and laborers and soldiers,” Alistair mused. “All we need.”

“�"and no one worth knowing!”

Everyone cheered at the group’s bravery as the six of them stepped towards the rock face. They took a few seconds to find some footing, and then looked up to the challenge ahead of them. There were enough cracks and holes in the face to ensure a good climb.

“Everyone ready?” Pierre and Jarrett both shook themselves in preparation. “Go!”

A cheer broke out among the crowd as the six of them began climbing. Pierre, for someone that had never climbed before, was ahead of everyone very quickly. Jarrett and Richard weren’t far behind, with Eva trailing behind. Rich encouraged her right from the start, telling her how good she was doing. Damien wasn’t making any progress.

“He’s too short!” someone in the crowd yelled, and they all began laughing.

“Come on, Damien!” rich yelled upon hearing this. “What are you doing?”

“He can’t do it,” an attendant said, taking Damien down. “Come on, son. You can watch from over here.”

Damien didn’t object to that.

Jacqueline didn’t make it high up either, but not for lack of strength or dexterity. “I-I can’t do it.” She began lowering herself; the crowd began to boo.

“What are you, chicken?” Eva asked from fifteen feet high.

Jacqueline undid herself. “Sorry, I’m gonna go to the hot air balloons.” She made her way through the crowd, who booed her the entire way.

That just left Richard, Jarrett, Eva and Pierre climbing, and they weren’t impeded anymore. The cliff face was three-hundred feet tall, which ensured a challenging and taxing climb. Pierre was scaling it like a mountain goat, while Jarrett and Rich struggled just a bit to keep up. Eva slipped a few times and almost fell, but was able to continue climbing.

Richard had trouble climbing, but not because he was becoming exhausted. He was constantly split between seeing Eva up with him and keeping up with Jarrett, who would taunt him for being a slowpoke. Pierre was practically uncatchable�"he began doubting the earlier claim of his never climbing before�"so the competition was between him and Jarrett. This left little time to console Eva.

At one instant, one-hundred-and-ninety feet up, he was stopped entirely. There was a bountiful crack in the wall, but it would require a leap upward to grab it. He prepared himself for the jump when all of a sudden,

“Rich!”

He looked down to see what was happening: a rock had slipped away from Eva, leaving her dangling with one arm onto another rock. She looked up at him with eyes full of fear.

“Baby,” he called. “What are you afraid of? Isn’t this exciting?”

“Help me!” she cried. From down below, some of the crowd laughed.

He groaned. “Okay, look: there’s a small crack to your right. If you stretch out, you should be able to reach it.”

Eva reached out and almost had it, but it was just out of her reach. The rock she was holding onto began loosening from the cliff. “I can’t reach it!”

Pierre lowered himself to Richard’s level; from his walkie-talkie could be heard a voice saying “we only need ten more!” “Try harder,” Pierre advised before continuing his dominance. He passed Jarrett, who cursed at him�"in a violent or competitive way no one could tell.

“Come on, Rich,” Jarrett eventually called out. “Are you gonna lose to me again?”

Richard wouldn’t. He prepared himself to jump again.

“Rich!”

“Just reach for it!” Richard yelled before positioning himself one more time. She screamed his name once more, but he blocked her out. Gotta focus. I’ve gotta reach that. Just one good leap, and I’m back in this. He let the chant of the crowd give him motivation. Rich, Rich, Rich, Rich, Rich!

He didn’t know how much time he had spent meditating, but he jumped straight up and slammed his fingers down into the crack. He had made it.

“Whoooooo!” He threw one hand in the air in triumph; he was stable enough to do so. “Did you see that babe? I made it!”

He looked down just as Eva’s head split open on the ground.

The roar of the crowd and Damien’s screams were lost on him; his body went cold. He was now acutely aware of how much he was dangling, and he grabbed on for dear life. He couldn’t think of anything at the moment, not even Eva. The breeze that blew high above threatened to dismantle him.

“What’s the matter, Rich?” Jarrett threw a rock at him, which missed. “You only live once, right? Life’s short, but glory and shame are eternal!” His voice was bloodthirsty, and he bounded after Pierre.

A fire lit up in Richard’s soul, and he began climbing up again. Soon, with the help of the crack, he had reached Jarrett’s level and passed him. It was just as much pride as fear that fueled him; he wanted to get somewhere safe.

“Cheater!” Jarrett yelled. Jarrett’s path had a lot more distant rocks, holes and cracks in it than Richard’s, who was following the crack with ease. Pierre had reached the top at the instant, and peered down and encouraged the both of them. With vigor, Jarrett gave chase.

Richard soon noticed that Jarrett was taking exorbitant leaps, just barely missing the safe points; suddenly, he felt the urge to watch his best friend miss. He didn’t hold this feeling for long, though, as at two-hundred-and-sixty feet, Jarrett jumped for a rock and missed. He frantically clawed for something, but it was all in vain.

Richard didn’t look down this time, resuming his climb. The roar of the crowd informed him of Jarrett’s reaching the ground. Now the crowd chanted his name even louder, spurring him onwards.

“S**t,” Alistair said. “I didn’t think he’d outlast Jared.”

“Me either.” Steve looked up at the counter. “Look!”

Alistair looked up, and saw the number in the ones place being “one,” and someone in New York was already falling to the ground in a suicide attempt. “Pierre?”

“Yes, boss?”

“He has to be the one.”

With a final grunt, Richard reached the top.

“Welcome, friend,” Pierre said as Richard hung onto the top of the cliff.

“Hey,” Richard panted.

“It’s unfortunate what happened to your friends,” Pierre said. “But you only live once, right?”

Richard could only nod. Pierre grabbed his hand and slightly pulled it up. Suddenly, Pierre grinned.

“And boss’s orders say your time is up.” With one fell motion, Pierre cast him off.

Time seemed to slow for Richard as he fell. He heard the disappointed moans of the crowd below, and one person wailed, “He was so close!” He heard Damien’s scream from down below, earsplitting even from hundreds of feet in the air. This gave him a sense of anger, and he yelled at the waving man on the top of the cliff, “You son of a bi�"“

The counter shifted to 6,999,999,999. Richard had been the one. Everyone in the room cheered, glad that the United States was the one to cause the first milestone. The last nine went to eight, and then to nine again�"have to accounts for births as well as deaths�"and then to eight again.

Steve high-fived Alistair and popped open a bottle of champagne. “We did it!”

Alistair nodded. “One milestone on the way to population control.”

“How long do you think it will take before we reach six billion?”

Alistair shrugged. “There’s still a lot more people looking for something to bring fulfillment to their lives. As long as we can give them reckless adventure, I’m sure we’ll be there in no time.” Something caught his eyes on the monitor. Damien had broken through the crowd and was crying over Richard’s body. “Damnit, he’s going to ruin the celebration!” He already noticed some people in the crowd becoming fearful. He snatched at his walkie-talkie. “Eunice!”

“Yes, Alistair?”

“Euthanize the kid.”

“…But sir�"“

“His brother is dead. He’ll be miserable for the rest of his life, and we’ll be to blame for not ensuring both of their survival. Do it.”

“Yes, sir.” He watched as an elderly lady bent down, hugged him, and took him away. The crowd patted him on the back, and one person’s lips read, “Everything will be fine.” Another’s read, “You only live once.”

“What about Jackie?” Steve asked.

“The traitorous b***h?” He found her on a hot-air balloon, smiling calmly and oblivious to what had just happened. “Javier.”

The balloonist grabbed his walkie-talkie. “Yeah, boss?”

“You’re above the lake, right?”

“Yessir.”

“Take care of her.” Alistair put down the walkie-talkie and grabbed the bottle of champagne just as a voice announced to the crowd the good news. Everyone in the park cheered and whooped and hollered and jumped around. Fireworks were set off around the mountain, bursting in brilliant light despite the sun’s glare. No one noticed a limp figure fall into the lake, with a sandbag tied around its ankles, to join hundreds more on the water’s floor.

© 2014 Austin

Author's Note

First, Rough Draft. Potential idiot-ball moments may abound, and I didn't flesh out the backstory, the setting or the characters as I would have liked. I think this lacks a lot, and I will be looking to refine it soon. Please let me know what you think of it.