Still Searching

Just gotta keep moving forward and seeing what works...

I should be seeing rainbows and sunshine,
So why do these shadow figures creep in at the wrong times?
Sinful silhouette's with a smile and disguised-
Designer shades to hide the nails embedded in their eyes.
Look at the clock,
Instead of numbers the numerals are replaced with the words "suicidal/thoughts".
My how time flies and flesh rots.
Dreams crack under the pressure and become nightmares,
Adolescent fears grow to become titans with chest hairs.
Spare me the talk of having faith-
I got my own beliefs for Heaven's sake.
I don't harbor the beings in Heaven hate-
But last time I prayed, my loved one's were forced into Heaven's gates.
I could plead for mercy,
But that would leave me thirsty.
So I swallow pride and just sharpen my fangs as I approach 30.
More uncertainty-
Leads me into a neurotic thinking spree.
They want me to drink from their system-
But those ideas aren't my cup of tea.
So I experiment,
Open minded engagement.
With honest intents for a rewarding attainment.
I just wanna know true enlightenment...
I believe I'll find it, cause nothing's set in stone yet.

...

Still searching.