thanks for the memory

to commemorate the sudden departure of a house-mate

A Lament for the Lanarkshire Lad

Old school bloke, straight and true
Sadly missed by the Hamilton crew
Went down South to find a job
Bought a tux, he ain't no yob

Roaring laughter from his room
Frankie Boyle such sweet perfume
Barking coughs never slowed him down
Still went shopping, out of town

Local take-aways loved this man
Long days at work upset his meal plan
Liked a beer, with bone-dry wit
His tales from home always a hit

Oven chips his meal of choice
Guitar in hand, he's no mean voice
Made us laugh with his 'Screwfix porn'
His father's son, Glasgow-born

Redundancy came as bolt from the blue
Employer's integrity not like me and you
This man bounced back, quick as a flash
Already planning 'nights on the lash'

Working life to start anew
South West's loss, in writer's view
Who knows how his journey ends?
A life fulfilled, and lots of friends

Pansies of Newland Road unite
All hail his jar-opening might!
His many skills, not hard to sell
Champion house-mate, a fond farewell

Bon voyage as you hit the road,
You're not a haggis, but we wrote you an Ode!

Author's Note

Wrote this to mark the sudden departure of a respected house-mate. Also inspired to write by reading you guys. Please allow for this being 1st piece of writing since leaving college. All criticisms welcome, and promise to review work of anyone giving feedback.

Reviews

[LA Lorena]

This is very witty indeed. Sounds like quite a crew in this house, and I'm thinking it would make for a rather fun party. I will be expecting an invitation!

[Kiri Nells]

Sharp and witty, for sure. The meter was smooth, no problems. Great write!

[cartera]

Caledonia is calling him? The fate of many an M25 Scot.
Not politically sure about the 'pansies 'bit.
Good to see he remained faithful to the old Scots diet.
ATB
Alex.

[HoorayForUnderdog]

This is a cool tribute poem! I enjoy your sharp wit, monkeyman.

[.]

your narrative is great..your meter is very sharp, so important..lovely ode to a friend..I bet he's chuffed!

i loved the flow and the way it tells a story. i loved it and the emotion in it. i cant wait to read more!

[{A}shley {B}lack @-;-]

Firstly This house-mate will truly be missed great laughs great memories and never been unmanned in such a polite manner lol

now on to the review
well northern monkey from having heard the way you actually perform this piece I have to say the flow and structure of this poem is right on the money technically perfect and your storytelling ability is brilliant although many of the events won't make sense to casual readers the way in which you describe the character can relate to many peoples family members or friends

overall A great poem I look forward to you bashing more out

The original Peckham Poet