Untitled

All my thoughts belong to you,

A fire fuelled between us two. 

I don't know how to say these lines,

Anxiousness has me tongue tied. 

Nerve, a strength, I have not found,

Testing our trust as this goes down. 

Just between you and me,

You're the one, my first, and only. 

You can have my whole heart, too - 

Broken and damaged, but it beats for you. 

I don't love the way I feel,

All nervous and revealed, 

But I love you, so don't get me wrong - 

My mouth moves but words are lost on it's tongue. 

So, please be patient, 

As I make slow moves -

The most happiness I've felt was just holding you. 

Reviews

[Anabren]

I really liked this. It has a good structure and a good flow. It has emotion behind it and that can be something difficult to capture.

[Brandon]

Thanks so much! Love the work you do!

[Vertigo Cat1111]

The last line, ugh, it's so good. I loved this so, so much and your writing is just grand and intricate, and beautiful.

[Brandon]

Hey, thanks for your review! I really appreciate it. I'd love to reciprocate the review. Is there anything you want looked at specifically?

[Vertigo Cat1111]

Thank you so, so much for asking! I've been working on a specific story, 'We All Have A Story To Tell' and it's a story I've worked hard on with sequels I've yet to put on here! But, also, if you've heard of Zelda, the video game, and like any of them, I have a sequel series for one of the games, if you like that kind of stuff. It was my pleasure reading it, and I really, really appreciate you asking me about it. (:

[America Faarozon]

I like how it starts putin perfect rhyme and cadence and then kinds of dissolved as you confess your vulnerability.

[Brandon]

Hey, thank you! I appreciate your analysis. Honestly this piece was a work in progress. I was hoping that through feedback I could temper the wording a bit more. Is there anything you'd like me to review in return, specifically? If not, I can pick through some of your work and review whatever calls my attention. I'd just love to reciprocate the kindness. Thanks again!