No sleep for me

No sleep for me
This is the realization that comes about
When the poison that is thought spreads its spider web across my brain
Creeping into every cavern of self doubt
Digging out the paranoia that I've buried so deep only for it to come back gasping for air loudly
No sleep for me
When the burning acid that is anxiety eats away at the walls of my stomach
Churning over like a great ocean storm that has been engulfed in fire
Careful as to not move too quickly so as not to disturb my stomach of anxiety filled terror
No sleep for me
As my lungs feel as if they have been smothered by a blanket of despair
As an invisible force presses down on my chest making each intake of air feel like the gravity has increased far beyond that of normal
Gulping at air as a fish struggling on land never quite getting the full refreshing reprieve I desire
No sleep for me
As my mind forces myself to prepare for upcoming loss
Whispering a reminder of what happens to the things you come to love
That sooner or later these things disappear from your life like a long treasured childhood keepsake
Taking all joy from the now as my mind exhausts itself struggling to build a barricade for the undeniable onslaught of pain that charges at me from the future
No sleep for me