June-bug

A drunk observation.

June-bug -
buzzing vehemently 'gainst my window's pain!
How many friends have you brought?
Flapping wings -
lost souls of the tragic twilight ,
misconstrued in your rapturous love
for my halogen bulb!
Sad misguided June-bug -
you will not touch the flame within!
Begone!
Buzz away,
far into the celestial glow thereafter!
Beseech exoneration
from lonely old man moon -

Reviews

[The Language of Birds]

this poem has promise... good imagery, although the conflict in both classical and contemporary language is a bit jarring. I wonder what the poem would sound like without the Thou hasts in there. Chances are, it will still have an appropriately classical feel because of your strong rhythm. Thou in the poem feels like you are not trusting the power of your images.

Best of luck on this one. It is worth the effort to be sure.

JimCD