Hikers In The Smog (Farewell, Bodies)

Juggling contraceptive bottles for castrated mutts in a gratified battle.

Unify all heralds, who wail for dazzling mice, crawling upon purged shackles.

Slip the iris of a general in the slotted test of belching sharks for grandeur.

Here, they praise his ears in an angst laced keenness.

Rolled with surrounding shells, cleansed by warty squirrels favoring a versus.

Infiltrating below the brushes of malice, tightly swimming with booted plans.

Stomp the repelling breeders ducked along the torn, rubber barriers of a state forgotten.

Freed from horned fighters with glaring chests and punctured vocals.

Utilizing carols of glassy nights, buttoned sleeves spread across the ornate boar.

Captured from a prevaricated tongue, a phrase escaped glowingly: “La Din vilje skje”.

From the relegated roster, hovering clusters journey throughout the idolized air.   

Reviews

[D Connolly]

What is it about your poems?? You use this provocative language and the sentence structure is so intriguing and I NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!!! Help me. What are you talking about?

[Noiz]

Honestly, I'm still searching for my niche. I often think a broad topic and write about only a certain aspect of that topic. This poem, for example, was created as an insight for the traumatizing effect of war, but I drowned it in symbolism. I suppose I should tone down the abstract/nonsensical writing.

[D Connolly]

You know, I think that your writing is really good. I was saying to myself yesterday, "If I knew what the hell this was about, I bet it would be brilliant". Keep it up, I don't want to discourage you.

[Noiz]

Thank you, I appreciate that. I'm definitely trying to improve every day.

[D Connolly]

I got the idea that it was about war, but there is so much symbolism that it was really difficult for me to understand. But there are several really good parts; "gratified battle", "unify all heralds", "torn rubber barriers in a state forgotten", "glaring chests", and "clusters journey through idolized air". I don't know what the literary phrase is for that type of description; I'm trying to think of a word for it... personification maybe? Its nice