Days x y z

A Poem by NoelAsh

I've found that it's easier to brush the taste of cigarettes from the back of my throat than to put down my first one

And it's easier to mask the guilt of using substance, by using substance

I've accepted that it's crucial to organize and premeditate days XYZ; days I can use and it will be okay because if I am somewhat in control of the substance that controls me I can pretend that I'm counting the days I've gone without, when in reality I'm counting down the days to XYZ .

I set aside time for day x, I'm a born again virgin in the porn industry, though I can't claim saint because UV blue, W weed, it's time for X extacy.

I need a kickstart, an upper to kickstart my state of mind, but in a couple hours I'll find that my high is running out of time
After being on cloud 9- I'll have to go for doubles- and see if it aligns

It's getting late, I'll have to leave soon

I'll be approaching say Y with some X and some shrooms
I stumble into past-my-bedtime Y
Y as in, why am I here, why are you touching me

Maybe, just maybe after I come off the shrooms I'll find myself in a room where I don't feel a heavy, heavy, heavy... Impending doom

After being so uppity, head in the clouds, I need some balance, some yin and some yang

By yin I mean some chill, some dope, some bud - and in order to keep me from falling asleep next to these /less than buds/ I'll need some yang, some cocaine.
To just barely keep me hanging until day Z

Probably , hopefully, I'll catch a break before dawn, and end up some place I've already gone.
Finally made it to when's-the-last-time-I-slept day Z. z-quill and sprite, maybe I can at last catch some zzz's, but I can't garuntee I'll be awake for days A B C