Sailing

He is like a ship I keep trying to sail-

across an ocean that soaks me in fear.

Holding my fear in his hands,

as if my fear were my hands.

Stepping in front of me like a shield,

pressing back the waves so my skin could dry.

 Never wrapping his lips over the sharp points with a kiss,

as if it were enough padding.

 Instead, he lines our shoulders

Side by side,

So his feet walk next to mine.

So his eyes can be his hands, holding me

without keeping me.

And his heart can be my ship,

Sailing,

While still loving me.

Reviews

[Hello, Goodbye]

the recurring imagery is always good, me thinks.. but be weary of redundant word usage.. I like the personal detail that is in this expression and your overall tone is solid.. as previously stated, the metaphor is indeed mighty..

[PianoandPage]

i love the first line but i feel like "fear" is used too much too soon. maybe a synonym for fear instead?

i love the metaphor of love being a ship and holding without hands but i think you could rephrase or at least reword bits of this to make it a little clearer and more cohesive overall.

i love the ideas you present here and i think this poem has a lot of potential!