Shadow Dance

Another of my old works, read and hopefully enjoy. I dont quite like it, it needs improvement, so any ideas would be welcomed.

I once decided to take a chance

And stopped to watch a shadow dance

They danced in a circle, featureless; black

Whilst in the center, a woman; trapped

She shone bright as light

But could not take flight

She was bound; she was weak

She could not fight.

 

As I watched to see what her shadows bear

She festooned on me the most piteous stare

I looked at her eyes and hair so fair

Then in a flash I no longer cared

I saw her shadows dance faster now

Her inner light began to dim out

I saw her tragic life story

All her betrayals and all her past glory

 

I started to dance now

For I too was shadow

And she faded away

As night turned to day

My tears welled up for my part in the play...

Reviews

[Sylla Rege'ne]

The shadow........what I all long to be sometimes. I do understand that there are multiple shadows within this, all of them relating to yourself. You quite obviously were hurt when you wrote this.......though how I'm unsure. From a literary standpoint, the rhyme scheme worked well, as did the stanza length, and the last stanza was well to show some form of regret, possibly for not caring anymore of the shadow (or of yourself) "My tears welled up for my part in the play... Then in a flash I no longer cared" Almost like a paradox. You can't regret if you don't care, and so......what of this really is reflected of your personality? Is there possibly a soul you failed to save? More interpretation is needed. I'll get to it later....