The Savior

It's a fantasy about rebellion, don't want to give too much away.

      Kaldrin sprinted up the stairs, twisting around two soldiers dueling in front of him. He would not fail, King Dreagus would not escape this time, not after so much had been sacrificed in his mission.

      “Kaldrin!” Lisa cried from behind him, “When we get to the courtyard, you have to go after the king! You're the only one who can beat him! We'll hold his soldiers, just gut that b*****d!” She had been with him since the beginning of his quest for the king's blood, and they had grown close, though she never told him her reasons for the extent of her hatred towards the man.

      “Got it. Don't you worry, this time I've got him!” he could now hear the sounds of his men charging up the stairs behind him. He neared a gate that the blueprints had shown to lead to the courtyard, three guards stepped through it as it slammed to a shut. “Don't slow! CHARGE!!” he yelled back to them. His words were met with the resounding roar of gruff men ready for bloody vengeance.

      He put his arms out as he took the last couple of steps, summoning the level of mastery in magic he had been striving to attain for years. Air, he thought, summoning a gust of air so powerful that it blasted the three men through the metal gate behind them with a crash that nearly made him slow his pace and cover his ears. He could tell the others were impressed, even though they were all behind him fueling his pride. I won't fail this time. He's mine. He thought as they ran into the courtyard.

      When they were through the gate he realized that the courtyard itself had been a trap; large fully-armored soldiers ran at their group with long pikes meant the keep intruders far enough back that they were helpless. Angered at the thought of his troops deaths and at the possibility of losing Lisa, he quickly decided to level the playing field.

      The frontrunners of the attackers tried to lunge at him, but it was in vain as he jumped into a front flip high enough to easily clear their respective ranges. He aimed to land between the first two lines of soldiers and readied himself to land. As his feet touched the ground, he slammed his fist to his front and downward, using the force of his flip, augmented by magic to create a shock wave that knocked most of the soldiers from their feet.

      He ran and dodged through the rest of the courtyard, confident that his allies would soon take it over. Reaching the doors he put his shoulder down and charged through the large wooden doors, splintering them with the force of his hit. From behind him, he swore he heard Lisa yell, “good luck!” though by that point he was too close to the king to get distracted or turn.

      The chamber looked to be the way he had thought it would, ornately furnished with wall hangings, carpets, and curtains, each decorated a deep red color, the king's favorite color.

      “So, you've come...” said the king, his massive stature showed even as he sat in his throne, black cloak covering his body with a polished gold crown resting atop his wavy black hair. He stood slowly, shrugging off the cloak and revealing deep red wizards robes underneath. “There is still time for you boy, join me... there is so much that I could teach you.”

      “I'll never join someone like you.”

      “You're determined to have my head then?”

       “Aye.”

       “Well then, come and take it!” As the king yelled he raised his hands and white flames spread in a circle around the two men.

      Kaldrin smiled, it had all come down to this, he would finally be done with his mission. Looking at the large man he crouched and bent his arms at the elbow saying, “gladly.” He spread slammed his foot against the ground, making it shake in an attempt to throw the king off balance, then charged and shot two balls of fire from his hands.

      The king barely seemed to notice the ground shaking and caught both fireballs, pushing them together into one large ball. Before he could throw it however, it exploded in his hands, knocking him back ten feet and scorching his clothes. “Clever,” the king admitted, as he jumped to his feet.

      Now Kaldrin ran at the king, prepared to barrage him from above with crystalline ice shards that would cut through armor. He went in for a punch to distract the man, but found himself hitting air as the king disappeared. He rolled to the side just in time, as the shards came down, unbidden, piercing the stone where he had just been standing.

      He was hit from the side with a large rock, that knocked the wind out of him, but he quickly recovered his footing, struggling to breathe. He closed his eyes, as they were useless against the king's trademark invisibility spell. He waited till he heard movement, listening for the slightest footfall or mutter of a word for casting. Suddenly, he felt a stabbing pain in his chest as a sword burst through his ribcage.

      “I'm sorry it had to come to this,” the king said pulling the sword from the wound.

      “I'm not,” retorted Kaldrin from behind the king. He had fallen for his own invisibility spell coupled with a shade of paralysis.

       The king's eyes watched helplessly as Kaldrin walked slowly to the man's front and said, “with your trademark spell... that's gotta sting.”

       “Treacherous b*****d!”

       “I'm no traitor. I'm the savior. I'm here for the people, to save them from king Dreagus the Merciful. Or should I say king Dreagus the weak, you don't have the stomach for this job, it's time the mantle was passed to someone with... plans,” as he spoke Kaldrin drew a dagger from his belt, slowly. “My reign will not hold such weakness, I believe my allies have already shown that, die knowing at least, that your kingdom will not fall.” With the final words he thrust the dagger into the king's stomach and took the crown from his head in one swift motion.

      “It already has,” the king muttered his last words, a single tear rolling down his cheek, not for his life, but for the kingdom and its future.

Author's Note

First draft, just wanted to do something different. Any opinions welcome.

Reviews

[Jocelyn_wonders]

It reads well - plenty of action. It does need editing; there are a few typos.
Also, a couple instances of awkward sentence structure:
- "Keldrin smiled, it had all come down to this, ..."
- "My reign will not hold such weakness, ..."

- 'spread, slammed' - I think you want one or the other word there, not both.

Jocelyn wonders.

[NoblePariah]

Thank you, I'll be sure to work on that editing, after I wrote it I didn't really go back and read it over, so I never noticed those before.