Nostalgia, This new monarch

      “How can I help?” She said in a nurturing voice that reminded him of his mother.  I haven’t thought of her for while, he thought. As he Look around her apartment with the eyes of a keen observer “You can’t” in a muffled voice, his tone, that of a meek doubtful child. “I am sure that we could work something out, you must have some clue what we should do about your friend and about this situation” she stated with a heart full of earnest sincerity. As he turned his head slightly to the left, he noticed on her walls, posters that of dead celebrities, hung by nostalgia. The ambience of the room quickly faded. He knew that this way of living couldn’t continue. “I should go” he stated briefly, this was a blatant lie, and he knew it. “I cannot stay here, I have to go” he thought, as he rapidly walked towards the door, his feet pacing, one step after another in rapid succession. “Will you call me?” She asked, everything became silent as he froze, a once rapid mind, now put to an end. What should he say? He couldn’t say yes, but he understood that those were demands that he could not fulfill; he knew that life, being a cruel mistress would not look favorably upon this action.

 

                “Obviously, I cannot; It would never work, I am positive that it would never work, she is… she is... too good for me” He lamented; a cloak of melancholic confidence seized itself onto him. “I will,” he stated to her, with a smile that radiated insecurity. He turned his back and promptly proceeds towards the staircase, His head cast downward, He felt like a failure, a disappointment, not to only himself, but to the species as a whole. He reached the door to exit the building, as he pushed open the door, he sighed, “If only I would have... If Only”. As the door opened, the rays of mid-morning day blinded him; He was trapped and could not escape, but could only see the intense hue of blue illuminating from the sky. He felt an intense warmth, he tried to walk, but could only, as if a toddler stumble down the street. He looked upwards, skywards from the building he had now departed and saw her, gazing, and a smile so gentle that he could only help to look back in awe, reassured.

 

                    He felt a buzzing vibration in his pocket, oblivious to the fact he was receiving a call, he was shocked, “who could possibly be calling this early?”, “Hi Nathan!” said a soft voice, a voice so distinct, yet so familiar to that of his mother, whom he hadn’t spoken to in several months. “Hi…” he said with a coy tone in his voice, “who is this exactly? Your voice, it sounds… so familiar” he stated. “It’s Rebecca, silly! Just returning your call, I know that you don’t get out much”, this voice was so familiar to his mother he remained in shock. “Oh, well Hi, I wasn’t expecting you at all”. Nathan continued to walk forward, his shoulders, usually slim, his back hunched forward, was now radically transformed, his shoulders now broad, and his back erect and tall, he had become seized by confidence, as if he had been a teenager thrust into puberty.

 

            “Yeah, John gave me your number, so I figured that I would ring you” said Rebecca, with a gracious poise so unique to her gender, He could not but help feel as if he was smothered by blanket of security, this was a new feeling for him, he felt as if he were a child, embraced by the warmth of his mother and cloaked with tranquility. “Is this peace? At last, have I attained it?” he thought, as he responded to women so eager to speak to him,“Thanks for giving me a ring, It would be nice to get out”.

 

 

               As he crossed the narrow street, with his mobile clinched ever so tightly to his ear, as if it were an extension of his body. His eyes began to wonder, noticing the multiplicity of humanity, he saw an frail old man, his face wrinkled like bed-sheets, his hands, ruffled, and with every crease of his skin, one could see experience radiating outwards. Nathan walked pass this man, their eyes met, locked onto one another and Nathan started to feel powerless, the old-man’s eye, a turquoise blue, deep set, the old man had a gaze as if he was recalling infinity, as if time became his mistress. Nathan was helpless; his only option was to revert to the child-like mannerisms that he previously tried to cast away, hidden in a remote area he could never find. Nathan averted his eyes and continued onward, his right foot in front of his left, he became rooted into the earth as he walked and returned back to the conversation at hand. “Sorry for being silent, I was rather distracted, when would you like to meet?” She repeated the time so as punctuality could linger and he would not forget. The phone detached from his ear, and with a gently nonchalant demeanor placed it into his pocket. He looked skyward, vast, eternal, a hue of blue that brought to him merciless memories of the eyes of someone his missed, someone he loved, and a unrequited love.

 

             He heard a distant cry, continuously his name was being shouted, closer and closer the sound penetrated his eardrum. The voice became a hollowing echo, as if a lover had whispered in the ear of their partner in the early morning. “What is that… that voice,” he contemplated,  “Nathan! Nathan!” the voice cried out, he saw a women appearing out of the distance, the sun illuminated in the foreground, as if she were a divine being too holy for his eyes to be set upon her. Her black satin dress was carried by the wind as she approached him, her brunette hair graced her shoulders, her skin tawny, radiant, and youthful”.  He could finally recognise her, “why has she returned?” Nathan thought. The previous feeling of doubt returned in an instant, he wanted to run away, cowardice became his confidant, as she approached him with feminine charm, He spoke softly “Hello Isabel”, her stared into her blue eyes, reminded of the vast blue sky he had seen before, she came closer towards him, leaning in closer as if she were going to reveal all the mysteries of life to him, and gently pressed her lips against his, doubt was instantly destroyed, as he remembered the taunting insecurity he felt with her inside of her flat, and now his heart reached liberation, forgetting any prior engagements he had made, his anguish now turned into stars, illuminating brightly with boundless optimism and an steadfast sense of certainty. “Why did you leave so quickly?” Isabel stated earnestly, Nathan was seized by an overwhelming pressure, a juxtaposed need to confess yet shrink back as a child and run away, far away, to a place in which the social burden did not press against him so firmly, he stated “I’m sorry, I just… just couldn’t stay there”.

 

 

          “Tell me why” she stated with a naïve sense of wonder and curiosity.“I…I…” Nathan mumbled, as his phone begin to vibrate with increasing motion, pressed against his thighs in his left pocket, he felted saved, “an opportunity to get away” he thought, but he understood this aversion couldn’t last forever, he would have to reveal everything, his feelings displayed as if artwork, exposed to her, a type of honesty he was not accustomed to, “this was a possibility that cannot occur, fate mustn’t take this direction” he thought, as he buried his hand into his pocket, embracing this new serendipitous miracle to escape exposing a truth that he himself could not even handle. He pulled his mobile out of his pocket and pressed it against his ear. “Can you excuse me for a second Isabel”, he stated with a sigh of relief that fortune has blessed him at this moment.

 

            “Hello”, Nathan spoke with the confidence of a prince, “Hey Nathan, its Liam, Are you busy? We should meet up, I can finally drag you out of that house of yours, about time you engage in the real world!” that voice, jovial and epicurean, had reassured his introverted companion. Nathan embraced this opportunity to get away from Isabel, “ha! You’re right, where are you? We should meet, lets go for a drink?” Nathan stated, lost in this new possibility, yet unaware that he ultimately could not avert these feelings that he so badly wished to express to Isabel. He turned towards Isabel and stated, “I’m sorry but I really have to go, something has come up”. 

 

 

            Isabel, cunning and possessing a receptive foresight, she understood this childish military-like retreat of Nathan. She could do nothing but wish for a change, she felt hopeless and defeated, that she could not turn this child into a man, that she could not help the man that captured her heart, but only offer a smile full of deceit, her inner-world devastated by this fleeting opportunity at what she thought was true love. “Okay”, she stated with her elegant poise, concealing the melancholic temperament that now became her soul’s mask.

 

             She stared at Nathan, with a reassuring, penetrating gaze, her eyes illuminated with a radiant blue, that brought Nathan back to memories of the lake he played near as a child, this brought him a sense of peace, a comfort for the pain he forcefully carved into his heart. Nathan quickly stared at her, but averted his eyes in disgrace. He certainly could not gaze at the women he loved, “how disgraceful, I cannot look at this women”, he thought as he mumbled his words of departure to her as he bowed his head in disgraced and walked in haste towards his place of residence.” I will have to tell her one day” he stated as his feet gently met the cement-laden sidewalk, as if the soles of his worn, battered leather shoes were like a hand, tightly grasping the hand of a long lost friend who hasn’t been seen for years. With each footstep, he could feel the weight of his guilt, an unforgiveable sin. He felt as if  his actions had become heavier with every step as he glimpsed his flat in distant foreground.

 

                 Isabel returned to her flat, taken back by the events of the day she felt scattered, lost in a foreign world, a world she could not map out. “Will he ever tell me?” she pondered as she fell backwards, gravity thrusting her downwards against the sofa. She wanted to embrace the nonchalance; that reason compelled her to follow. Gripped by the possibility of unrequited love that Nathan had also succumbed to, this was a potentiality that she could not let occur. Lament was gilded in a golden cloak, as if it were a looming knight come to rescue her from this potential failure, for she knew that her heart could not bear this.

   She could not keep this anguish stored inside her any longer. Compelled to express this yearning for her love to someone, She called her friend Elizabeth, a person known for being sound of judgment and possessing the ability to empathetically listen, rare amongst her friends. “Hi Elizabeth” she stated with a school-girl like innocence, “Are you free, Can we meet, I want your thoughts on something that I’m going through and I would like the company”, “Sure”, Elizabeth stated with a tone like that of a wise sage, “We’ll go for drinks, okay?” she stated gregariously.” I’ll pick you up in hour” Elizabeth stated so gently as the phone call ended. Isabel was relieved at this newfound opportunity for comradeship, she looked at her reflection in the mirror, her body petite, and frail, she noted her expression, that of discontent. She longed for that confidence, the graceful poise that she knew she could only muster around Nathan, but she longed to hear the words “I love you” spring forth from his lips.

 

                 Simultaneously, both Liam and Elizabeth arrived at the home of their respective mates, Liam in a old car which he neglected to fix. Grunge, instead of a paint, served as the car’s coating, while rust peeled off the tail-end of the car, he smiled gently as Nathan slammed the door of his residence behind him as he moved slowly towards the car and opened the passenger door. “Hey, glad that we are doing this”, Nathan stated with a tone of excitement, as he fixed his position in his seat and Liam placed his foot against the pedal as he drove off into the distance. The sun begin to set, the sky radiant with mixture an orange and a blue coloured hue, as if the world had dissolved and transformed into a world of fantasy.  Elizabeth, parked outside of Isabel’s residence and waited patiently, as Isabel rushed quickly out of her home, firmly locking her door and rushing towards the newly bought car of Elizabeth, coated with black paint, an aroma, that of freshly picked tulips emerged from every pore of the car, as Elizabeth drove towards the bar, Isabel could do nothing but smile and hope for a brighter future, yearning to be carved out with her hands.

   Liam and Nathan arrived at the bar, a tavern whose bricks radiated a confident red hue; a peculiar feeling, something in which he could not explain, overwhelmed Nathan. “What is this” he thought, as they both sat down at the table, their backs firmly pressed against the chair. Liam’s shoulders broad, as if they were lifted up, raised by mighty men who climbed upon social ladders, Liam stared at the waitress who stood exhausted from her day but remained courteous, she stated in a gently voice “What will you two be having today?” Liam ordered their drinks as Nathan was held being together by a mixture of anxiety and nonchalance. The feeling that plagued him before he entered the bar had now re-appeared, but amplified to a magnitude he had never experienced before.

 

             Isabel and Elizabeth entered the same bar, in which Nathan and his companion had chosen, both parties unaware of this serendipitous event. Isabel and Elizabeth took station several tables. Unaware of each other’s presence, the ambience became heavy, Nathan felt as if he was trapped, and the reoccurring need to confess returned. “Was this the feeling? Was this it?” He pondered internally as Nathan and Isabel noticed one another from the periphery of their vision. An act of synchronicity it seemed, as if fate had brought these two together, as their eyes met one another, immediately Nathan felt like a shy schoolboy, his heart sunk inwards and started to beat quickly. Liam, after consuming large quantities of beer placed his glass firmly against the wooded table, he quickly stated “Hey I’ll be back in a few minutes, I have to use the restroom”, Nathan deplored this idea, as he smiled and nodded his head, slowly moving up and down, he gave his sign of approval; a façade he knew would not last, as Liam moved towards the end of the tavern and entered the restroom.

 

             Isabel made her way forward towards Nathan. He could finally identify this looming feeling, it was her presence all along, and yearning for him to confront this truth his soul wanted him to express. “I will have to admit it now won’t I?” Nathan thought, his palms begin to sweat, the world seemed to pause, as if he had assumed the position of god, time kneeled humbly before him as if a monarch was blessing him and Isabel gently approached him from behind, placing her hand softly against his shoulder with a feminine allure, seductive were her graces as she sat down opposite from Nathan, her blue eyes locked onto him, as his heart began to sing merrily.

 

              “Hi Nathan” she stated, her voice moved swiftly towards him, traveling with a swift dance as it continued onward in it’s trajectory. Her voice softly, lightly kissed his ears as she continued onward in her attempt to engage him in conversation. “Why did you leave so instantly earlier? From my flat and from the conversation we had earlier?” she asked, with a curious tone that had become a normalcy in her disposition. Nathan couldn’t speak, he was forced to confront what he had so adamantly tried to repress. He noticed a napkin towards the end of the table and grabbed it, as the words Isabel continued to speak muttered, entering one ear and passing throughout the other. Nathan gazed at her once more, His heart became boundless with love, “I have to tell her, I… I… have to” he thought. As he reached into his pocket, fiddled with the miscellaneous contents inside of his pocket and clutched onto a pen, he started to write on the napkin, he etched the words “I Love You!”large and prominent, for all to see. 

 

            He turned the napkin around, as Isabel’s eyes fixed downwards towards it. Her eyes locked onto the words, slowly reading them as they become one with her being, she smiled brightly, her eyes filled with light as they begin to water. Her blue eyes became fixated onto her love; she had conquered failure, and became it’s master, a queen for all to see, she leaned forward, with a novel sense of optimism and hope, the future was now her own and Nathan, relieved at his recent journey into an unknown territory had conquered his past, and he felt tranquility, a still calm had seized him and he felt complete. 

    Isabel leaned forward, moistening her lips as she accepted the new challenge placed in front of her. Nathan moved closer, internally fighting against the want to retreat, he had conquered this old feeling and sighed in relief as he moved forward. Isabel leaned closer, placing her lips gently upon Nathan’s as they felt as if they had merged into one, two bodies but with a single soul. Nathan understood the old personality he had forged onto his being had now died, and this kiss sealed his fate, he had now been transformed into a new being, doubt forever banished as he wrapped his arms around Isabel as they gazed into each other’s eyes, accepting fully, this new world they had created. 

Author's Note

Thoughts are appreciated, Constructive criticism and honest thoughts, as well as thoughts on the dialogue and overall 'vibe' or impression of this short story, what did it impress upon you?.

Reviews

[Daniel Atkinson]

We're kind of thrust into a conflict at the beginning, not knowing who the characters are, or their relationships. Watch that. Otherwise, good storytelling.