The Grim Reaper's Scythe

I wrote this when I was dealing with the suicide of my best friend. I went into such a downwards spiral that by the time I was at my lowest, I was toying with the idea of suicide myself.

He doesn't care what you think. 

At least that's what he believes.

He's what you'd call a lost cause,

His emotions locked in a box,

Too dangerous for the average cog 

in the system, he gets lost

in the rhythm of his day to day life,

hoping that one day his future wife

will bless his path,

but like the Grim Reaper's scythe,

he provides no remorse

for those he hurts, or worse.

Everyone knows his name,

but nobody knows the pain he contains,

like a cloud, full of rain, 

full of beautiful anger, yet covered in chains.

They say be yourself,

but when yourself isn't what they deem sane,

they want to force you to change.

His true form is a demon.

It seeps into his thoughts,

until he gets caught up in them, 

giving him a reason to commit treason

to his body, a desperate effort to keep the heathen

inside, keep it from bleeding into the decent

member of society he needs to be.

He hates his own reflection. 

He wishes he could look himself in the eyes 

but his confidence wont rise to the level required.

Instead, he'd rather light up.

A common alternative to facing the music.

The drugs keep him numb,

His best skill is a blunt,

rolled to perfection.

He takes pride in his ability to take blunts to the face.

Always last in the smoke circle of his "friends"

but he puts bowls away every day.

It's his method to cope with the way 

people stare.

He tells himself he's used to it,

but in reality he's losing it.

His family calls him useless, and in truthfulness,

he's immune to their s**t.  

It's those he cares about that throw

the heaviest stones.

His solution is to care about no one.

Keep his thoughts locked in a box,

too dangerous for the average cog 

in the system, he gets lost

in the rhythm of his day to day life,

hoping that one day his future wife

will bless his path,

but like the Grim Reaper's Scythe 

he provides no remorse

to those he hurts,

or worse.

Author's Note

I'm only 17 so it wont be perfect. Constructive criticism please!